'Mumma.' A voice calls out, disturbing Joe from his sleep, 'Mummy.' The voice is a little louder, the light flooding in the room. He checks that his wife is still asleep, hearing the deep breathing, confirms this.
'Lou?' She nods, as Joe moves Dianne's arm off him and stands up, grabbing his dressing gown and walking outside to join his barely four-year-old daughter. 'Let's go and find your dressing gown, you must be freezing, then you are going to tell me why you can't sleep.' She nods as they wander into her room, finding the pink dressing gown on the floor. He lifts her up, she's still small enough to-do this. She's much smaller than he remembers any of the other children were, maybe it's because Theo and Maddie are so big she just seems smaller.
Dianne got out their books the other day, she had written down their heights when they got measured every month. According to this book, Maddie had been the tallest at this age, but it confirmed that Luca was the smallest child, by three centimetres behind Ruby. It's not that much smaller, but she seems far tinier. 'What is wrong baby girl?' She nestles her head into her dad's neck. 'I'll make you some warm milk?' He puts her on the side, as he gets out the saucepan and the carton of almond milk, gently pouring it into the big girls mug that they brought her recently, before pouring it into the saucepan.
He didn't realise how much he missed this, having a young child. Maybe he's savouring it more because of Ruby, maybe he knows that this is his last sort or maybe it is because he realises how quickly these years will go. He's been different with Luca, he spends more time with her, work takes a backseat to their daughter. He's got a year before she starts school, he likes spending the one day off a week he has with her, a daddy daughter day. The milk starts to bubble, pouring it out and topping it up a little cold almond milk before putting her on the sofa and sitting next to her as she leans into him.
'So, what woke you up princess?' She shrugs, as he looks down at her, noticing for the first time that she has been crying, pulling her in tighter. He wasn't sure if he should wake up Dianne, deciding not to wake her up knowing she needs the sleep.
'Had a bad dream.' She tells him, as he turns on the lap next to him, illuminating the room. 'A dog was chasing me.' He rubs her hand, knowing how petrified of dogs she was. There had been an incident when they were visiting Maddie where a dog chased her around a park and knocking her over. They had taken her to hospital and she was fine, except now she had a deep routed fear of dogs.
'Oh, baby girl.' He kisses the top of her head. 'It was just a dream though.' She nods, her hair falling around her face. It amazes him how much she has grown in the last few years, how much their whole family has changed. He reaches over to the bookshelf, picking the nearest book to him, guess how much I love you. He reads it, putting on all the silly animal voices. He doesn't realise Dianne coming in, smiling as she sits the other side of their daughter.
'What's up munchkin, it's 4:30AM.' She shakes her head, moving over to her mum. Joe smiles weakly, knowing she would do this. It isn't personal, and he doesn't mind. He's just glad tat they have that sort of relationship. At first, Dianne struggled a bit, but it did disappear almost as soon as it came. She strokes her forehead, sleep still holding a grip over her, she thought that the days of the early morning wakeup were over, but, occasionally, she is woken up by Luca. When she was first born, she would have these moments with her, letting Joe sleep. It wasn't like he could do very much, he couldn't feed her, and she was on maternity leave she had all the time in the world. She looks around the room, they have pictures all around the house, as a reminder that they are a family. They've updated some of the pictures, a big step for Dianne because it meant taking some of Ruby down. It wasn't because they didn't love her any less, but they had more pictures, fresher memories. Dianne had decided, that summer, it couldn't be a complete shrine to her eldest daughter, when Luca asked why there wasn't any pictures of her in the living room.
'Let's get you to bed.' Dianne tells her, standing off on the sofa, 'We still have a few more hours before we need to be up.' Her daughter pouts, clearly not liking this idea. 'Daddy will check for monsters.' Joe lays her in her bed, checking the wardrobe and under the bed, spraying his special monster spray.
'Why didn't you wake me?' They slip into bed, as she curls up into a ball next to him.
'You looked so peaceful, I couldn't disturb you.' He confesses, turning off the light. As he's falling off to sleep, the door opens again, revealing the same little face. 'Still can't sleep?' She shakes her head, climbing next to him, pulling the blanket she brought with her around her, as he pulls her in close.
'Can I sleep here tonight?' Dianne is awake at this point, twisting her body so she's facing her husband and daughter.
'Do we have a choice?' She pretends to sigh, as her daughter rests her head in-between theirs on the pillow. 'As long as you don't kick, I spent nine months with you kicking me from the inside.' She means it all in good jest, pulling her closer into her. She wants to tell her to go to bed, but she can't. Maybe it's selfish, but she won't be able to do this for much longer. The other three stopped climbing into her bed around about the time they started school, which is next year in Luca's case. Far too soon for her liking. 'Love you angel.'
'Can we get a kitten?' The child asks, curling up to her mum.
A/N totally meant to have this posted a couple of days ago but I was (sort of) away last week and then I got sick... (who even gets sick in half term... Me apparently) Anyway what do you guys wanna see because I have a few ideas but 🤷🏼♀️ I'll do both before Ruby died and after
