The teenager sighs, turning over in bed and shoving a pillow on her head. She was excited, she wanted to be a big sister. That was until Luca was born, she was expecting her to sleep through the night.
Four months later, she still isn't any closer to getting a good night's sleep, unless she goes to one of her grandparents. That is fine, but she just wants a good night's sleep. Surely that isn't too much to ask? It's in these moments that she decides she doesn't want to become a mum, she doesn't really like babies. She isn't a natural when it comes to her baby sister, her mum always moaning about something, she isn't holding Luca correct, or she is being too loud. She doesn't like Luca, that has been decided.
She can hear her mum and her dad talking, and she has a good mind to shout down the stairs too them, it wouldn't do much but telling them to fuck off would make her feel so much better. After about half an hour, it goes silent, the three of them seemingly falling asleep. Maddie looks as the second hand circles the clock, minutes drag on. About five-thirty AM, she decides that she isn't going to be able to sleep anymore, so she gets up.
The living room and the kitchen is empty, she can hear the gentle snores coming from her parents' room, they don't have to be up in the morning, she has double English, followed by Media. No one asks how she is, they don't ask how she is feeling. It echoes her mum's reaction when Ruby died, and she doesn't like it.
As she looks around the room, she spies the clothes on the tumble dryer, under the pile of Babygro and spit-up cloths. She knew that Joe had put them there, it was far too organised for it to be her mum, her mum didn't even know what day of the week it was, let alone being able to organise washing. Moving nearer, an idea strikes her. Grabbing her underwear from the pile, and a pair of jeans, she makes her way back upstairs, finding the items she was looking for. Piling them neatly into a bag, she grabs her charger and a few other important items she would need. She wasn't running away like a child, she was planning a visit to her older brother. She would be back in a few days, she just wouldn't tell her parents that she was going somewhere that wasn't school, or dance.'
Her departure from the house goes unnoticed by everyone else, she's unsure if that is a good or bad thing, maybe if they noticed she would feel better. To her, it would have showed they cared. It would have shown that they noticed her existence. It occurred to her, that maybe, Ruby and Theo felt like this when she was born. Maybe it was because she was older, and she understood more. She wished that she had her older siblings here. She had never felt so lonely- even after Ruby died. She would, often, go and sit in Theo's room. They wouldn't say anything or do anything. They would just sit there, in silence. Theo would wrap his arms around his sister, neither of them knowing what to say, the shock still evident.
She was surprised because she was so looking forward to her mum having the baby, but now she hated it. She knew that sounded so petty, maybe it was, but it wasn't cute. She couldn't take it anywhere, to show her off to her friends. Her mum wouldn't let her take Luca out, maybe if she had she would like it more. Maybe if she felt that they trusted her, things would be different.
The station isn't far, she is able to hide in the darkness, it's too early for sunrise. It's also colder than she thought it would be, shivering as she slowly closes the front door, never making a sound.
The train is busier than she expected, it's not even 7AM, so it's a commuter train. By the time the school calls her mum, if they call Dianne she isn't sure if they will, she will be in London. They won't be able to-do anything. She highly doubts the pair of them will bother her, and her brother always tells her she can stay with him for a bit.
The train gets in to London Paddington just after eight-thirty. She had googled where she needed to go, to get to his halls. She had been to London before, but she had never had to deal with the tubes by herself. She manages it eventually, after getting on the wrong line for four stops and then having to work out how exactly to get to London Victoria. As her phone gains signal, she feels it blow up. It's nearing 10AM, so she knew that someone will have twigged that she had gone missing by now. She rolls her eyes, deleting each 'where are you?' from her parents, she decides that now is the appropriate time to call her brother, knowing he didn't have any lecture on today.
