What will happen if I lied?
If my wrist weren't clean,
Or if I forced out last night's meal?
What will happen if I lied saying that I was alright,
When I haven't eaten in the past few days
And I couldn't hold anything down?
What will happen if I allowed my veins to become alcohol and my lungs to fill with the smoke of my cigarettes?
What will happen if I just lie here
In pain and wondering when the arms of death will finally take me back into their embrace?
What if I just decided to run away
With nothing in my hands but the clothes on my back
What will happen then?
What will happen if I jumped off the bridge that I joke about jumping off of?
Or what if I use an extension cord and hang myself off of it?
What will happen if "my bright eyes and smile" turn dark and grim
To be sewn shut
To be an empty void
For my body to be stuffed and my organs transferred to the next person who really needs it
Will anyone ever really mourn
Or will I just be "another depressed teen who couldn't face reality"
"Another kid who couldn't get the attention they needed"
"Another kid who everyone believed was happy"
Will my family blame themselves
Or will I be shamed and not have a funeral
Will people who abondaned me along time ago come back to see me and talk about "how close we were" to "rest in peace baby girl" ?
If I go today
Stop people from quoting that shit
Tell them to leave like they did when I was alive
Because if you ask their names and I never mentioned them, then they don't deserve to be there
Will my memories play on with the ones who were around
Or will it be silenced because the thought of me gone is too painful
I really wanna know because I feel like I shouldn't even bother being in this world anymore
Should I really let my demons take control of my life again
Or should I keep fighting
What would happen if I lied to you today, And be gone by tomorrow?
