How Many Tears Are Enough?

Eight

Kara waits outside for Lena. The cars in the parking lot shimmer in the same sun that warms her skin. Birds are chirping from green trees sending out calm vibes that she tries to channel but fails miserably at, being distracted by the dull grey building in front of her. Walls decorated with barbed wire and cameras make up her view. She knows she won't be able to breathe properly until Lena is safely outside. In one piece.

Nervously tapping her feet, she waits for Lena to re-emerge from the prison. Time passes dreadfully slowly and Kara attempts to read a book so she can distract herself from the time but she can't concentrate. Her eyes keep drifting away from the page and to the large doors or her watch.

It's only been half an hour when the doors open and Lena emerges from them, back and shoulders straight until the doors fall close behind her, and then her posture droops. Kara supresses the urge to rush over and wrap her arms around Lena, instead toeing the dirt beneath her feet as she waits for Lena to close the distance between them. Lena slumps down next to her, letting out a deep sigh in the process. To Kara's surprise, Lena immediately curls into her side and she instinctively wraps an arm around the ravenette.

"I told you it was my fault everyone died," she eventually says, voice barely louder than a whisper.

"What do you mean? You didn't kill anyone. You didn't plant that bomb, you didn't tell your brother to kill your friends," Kara fiercely replies.

"No," Lena whispers, "but I shouldn't have survived instead of them."

Kara bites back a snarky reply. She thought Lena was past this. That she'd dealt with her guilt and had given it a place. Lena's face, however, does give away there's more going on right now and Kara gives her the time and space to share on her own terms.

It takes a few minutes, during with Lena starts softly crying and Kara pulls her closer to comfort her, but eventually Lena shares. "I shouldn't have survived because it was me who was the target." Her voice breaks on the last word and Kara brings her free arm around Lena's front to hug her more completely. "Lex rigged my new device. I was supposed to run the test alone but the rest were so curious they joined me. They weren't even supposed to be there. I should've been alone when it exploded. I should have died, not them."

"Your brother tried to kill you?" Kara asks when Lena stops talking and casts her eyes down to fumble with the hem of her sweater. "Why?"

"He found out about Jess," Lena says matter-of-factly, as if trying to kill a sibling because they're in a same-sex relationship isn't outrageous.

"He tried to kill you because of Jess?" Kara tries to keep the anger from her voice but she's not sure she succeeds. She's reeling. The only reason she isn't marching into the prison right now to kill Lex Luthor with her own bare hands is because his little sister is tucked beneath her arm and clearly in need of comfort and reassurance.

"Yes," Lena mumbles.

"It's not your fault he's so intolerant he'd take lives over it. It's not your fault your family thinks like they do and your family doesn't make who you are. You do. Lena, you have no fault in what happened. You are not accountable for your brother's deeds, no matter how much he tries to use you as an excuse. It's not normal to want to kill someone over being gay and it's not your fault. It is notyour fault, Lena," Kara repeats strongly. Another corpse, she tells herself and briefly wonders how many more there are before shifting her attention back to her friend.

Lena weakly nods her head but doesn't seem convinced yet. Kara can't really blame her though. It must be extremely hard to first lose your friends and girlfriend and later find out you were the actual target. To learn your brother hates who you are so much he wants you dead. To even just have a brother who's so vehemently against part of your identity. Kara is sure if Alex were to denounce her like that, she'd feel like part of her died. Like she can never be herself anymore.