For the Child

Tears

When Bill entered the Doctor's room, balancing a tray filled with biscuits and tea, Missy and the Doctor were lying on the bed, curled up so close that is was hard to see which body part belonged to who. The hielalmwana was standing on the bedside table. It was shining a dim light that seemed to be much weaker than before.

"I... brought some biscuits.", she said quietly when the two timelords looked at her. "Thought maybe you're... hungry."

Missy slowly entwined herself from the Doctor and sat up. "You want to cheer me up."

"Kinda... sorry, I don't really know how to help so I thought... yeah, probably a dumb idea. I'm sorry." Bill wanted to leave again.

"I'd love to have a biscuit.", Missy said quietly. "And some tea."

Bill put down the tray on the bed, carefully so she wouldn't spill anything, and Missy took a biscuit. She was eating slowly, like she had forgotten how to chew properly.

The Doctor sat up as well. "You don't have to force yourself to eat, Missy.", he said quietly. "Bill will understand."

"Yeah." The black woman nodded. "I totally understand."

Missy closed her eyes for a second. "My baby is dying. Sorry that my appetite is low."

"I'm really sorry.", Bill said quietly and carefully caressed Missy's hand. She looked at her, eyes full of tears.

"Don't ever get children.", she said quietly, taking her hand. "It might feel horrible if your mother dies before you, but nothing hurts more than losing a child."

"You've already lost one before."

"Yes. And they blamed me for it." Missy's glance got angry again. "I loved her. It wasn't my fault that it happened. But I'm always getting blamed for everything. Even for the stuff I didn't do." Her grip around Bill's hand tightened. "They killed my baby. You were there. You've seen it. Is it my fault now?"

"Missy..." The Doctor carefully removed her hand from Bill's. "You're hurting her."

"Oh..." Missy looked at her hand. "Was I now?"

"It didn't hurt.", Bill lied because of course it did.

"I want my baby.", Missy said quietly, and the Doctor handed her the glowing jar from the bedside table. The timelady cradled it in her arms again, humming quietly.

"Kuye is tired.", she said after a while. "She will sleep soon."

"Is there... nothing we can do?", Bill asked. Her voice was breaking, and she could feel tears in her eyes. It hurt her to see Missy holding her dying child. It hurt her more than anything else before.

"We can sing a lullaby.", Missy hummed. "She will sleep well then. No monsters in the dark to harm her."

"I'm so sorry.", Bill whispered. Tears were dripping down from her face now.

"Why are you crying?", Missy asked.

"She is sorry for you. She feels you pain.", the Doctor said quietly while wrapping and arm around her shoulders.

"A lullaby of tears.", Missy whispered. "Will keep her safe and warm. Come here. Cry with us." She reached out for Bill who sat down on the bed and wrapped an arm around Missy as well.

"You're loved.", Missy said while holding the jar close to her hearts. "You won't be forgotten."

"I love you.", the Doctor said quietly while touching the jar with one hand. It was the first time he allowed himself to show feelings for the child. His eyes were wet too now.