Charlotte B2

The test subject

Chapter 2:

-I'm trying my best, I say clenching teeth.

This room needs air. It's suffocating here. 

-I'm really, really trying my best, I repeat.

Please, open the windows, I'm begging you.

-You are not doing your best Char! he says for the millionth time in his life.

-Stop calling me that! It's evil! No, no, stop, no! Stop, stop, stop!!

I wake up, all sweating. It needs to stop! All of that. Why does it seem so real? And, why would they hurt me anyway?

It's late at night, Paul knocks on my bedroom door. He opens the door a little and lets appear his little finger in. It's the routine. This bloody marron finger's appearing. It's the password. He needs to do this to get in my room, so I know it's him. I'm not sure if his little finger really looks like that in real life but it's really scaring when he appears in the middle of the night.  And if it looks like that in real life, I wonder what happened to his finger though. Because yes, he usually comes at night, I guess it's his way to make me upset and have the rest of my night ruined just as he ruins my days too. But today is another day, right.

-Come in, I say gently.

-Thanks.

He comes near my bed, kisses me on the forehead and sits at the bottom of my bed.

-Char... Charlotte, I, I want to apology...

-No don't worry it's fine Paul. I was very tired yesterday and I wasn't feeling well, I say nicely with a small smile.

-Oh... Do you feel better now? 

He looks concerned, he always does when he comes in the middle of the night. Why is he so different day and night?'

-Do you feel better? he repeats while looking at me stubbornly.

Do I feel better? My brain is falling into a million pieces and I feel like my whole body is going to explode but, hey! of course that I'm fine. Don't you remember that sleep heals everything? Well, only if you get the chance to sleep, though. You know what I want to tell you, you brainless Paul? That I don't even know if I feel better now.

-Yes, I'm much better, I lie.

I know. Don't look at me that way, I know what you're going to say: Why didn't you say the truth? Why didn't you tell me you weren't feeling good? Why can't you stop lying for once in your life? Blablabla. Well, if you must know one thing about me, it's that I'm always facing the world by being the best, healthy, smiling girl I can be. No problems, all good. 

-Great! We have an appointment for another session at 6pm tonight.

Wait, what? That was supposed to be my first day off in the past three months, or maybe more, I can't even remember. I stopped counting the days.

-Oh, I say raising an eyebrow in disbelief.

-Is there a problem? he says with a smirk.

He knows what the problem is, he just doesn't want me to enjoy life at all. You monster.

-No, I lie.

-Good, see you tonight then.

-Yea, see you, I say nonchalantly.

He stands up, I reject him when he gives a me another kiss on the forehead and leaves the room, smiling like never, knowing what he just did. Ruining another day of my amazing life. I really thought he would be kind today. Well, no he's still the same awful man that he was yesterday... and all the other days actually. I guess today is just not another day at all.