Meeting Him Again

The Price Of The Advice My Sister Gives Is My Sister

"Oh, wow, you really fucked yourself sidewards with this one, sis," Jane said bluntly across the coffee shop table.

"Yeah, no shit." I stared at her expectantly - the only response she could muster was to laugh slightly, tilt her head away from me and then straighten out again. "Are you gonna help or be condescending? Because there is not a single bad word you can say to me that my mind hasn't screamed at me already."

Jane blew out a breath. "You shagged him."

"Yeah."

"And nearly blew a hole in the space-time continuum."

"Yeah."

"But your wife is clueless."

"Yeah."

"And now you're verging on depressive."

"Yeah."

"And she thinks it's work."

"Yeah."

"Not the affair you had with her past self."

I just stared at Jane from under my eyebrow.

"You shouldn't have done that."

"Say something we haven't already covered or I'll hit you with my shoe."

Jane scratched her face. "Come clean."

"And how would I do that?"

My sister frowned, staring into her palms as if she'd written a script for this situation.

I rubbed my arm, frowning to myself, trying to block the guilt before I became a hopeless mess again. Everything seemed like it had gone to pot and it was all my fault.

Harriet had settled back into the Academy again, all of her students and colleagues welcoming her back like nothing had happened. If only she could see such support from her wife.

"Stop beating yourself up, for one." Jane tried to catch my eye. "You'll only make yourself feel worse. Technically you didn't have an extra marital affair."

I picked up my mug of coffee and held it to my lips. "That's what I told myself. It stopped working after about a week."

"Are you cheating on Harold with Harriet?"

"Did you miss the bit where I told you Harold's dead?"

Jane glared at me. "I'm not cheating on Kyle with Paul."

She angled herself away from me, staring out of the window with hooded eyes and a slightly hung head. Kyle had been one of many fatalities in the Time War, and was hopelessly in love with Jane as she was with him; she'd only just got back on the horse with Paul and you could tell she still felt like her fidelity wasn't all there, sometimes. I knew she said that more to herself than me, but appreciated it all the same; in a way, that was the amazing nature of Jane's advice. It was garenteed that she had experience, rock solid I've-lived-through-this experience, in every field you asked about.

I sighed. "It's different with Harriet and I."

"Isn't it always?" Tears were beginning to form in her eyes, which she turned away from me to try to wipe away.

"I know you miss him."

"I know you miss him."

"It's different for me, though, my husband's still right there- Oh. Oh."

"Act like it then." She winked at me. "That's your problem. You just haven't adjusted to the new regeneration - your husband is still there, just different. Don't see it as getting to know a new person, see it as falling in love all over again."

I slumped back in my chair.

God, Jane was an ass, but she could really solve your life problems with a sassy side eye and high heeled Ugg boot.

I did love Harriet - and there was no point in missing Harold because they were the same person.

When I got home that day, my hands were shaking so much I couldn't get the key in the lock and had to knock, claiming I'd accidentally locked myself out. I couldn't spill my guts out immediately.

"Hey, Harriet," I said, voice shaking, "I have something I need to tell you..."

"Babe, I know," Harriet dismissed, shutting the door behind me and smiling warmly. "Calm down, it's okay, you're okay." She took my hands in hers to still them, placing them on her chest so that I could feel her heartbeat. I let out a shaky sigh, resting my head on her shoulder momentarily. I was going to break her heart.

"You- know?"

"Yeah."

"You're not angry?"

"It's a small thing."

"No, it really isn't, but I don't think we're quite synched here - what do you think I did?"

"Eat the last Pringle."

If you ever want to knock someone square over and spinning with no clue how to continue, say that when they're about to confess their affair. Works every time.

"No, it's something a bit more serious- Wait, someone ate the last Pringle? I thought that was you."

"No," she said, drawing it out. "No, I definitely did not eat the last Pringle."

"Well, I didn't either."

Harriet spread her bottom lip and shook her head.

"We're getting sidetracked. I need to confess something."

"What?"

"It's hard to describe."

"One word."

"Affair?" If I didn't say it immediately, I doubted I ever would. It came tumbling  out of my mouth so quickly I wasn't sure I'd said it.

Harriet let her hand holding mine to her chest fall limp, and her eyes glazed over. She sunk to the floor, staring past me. I followed her down, trying to encourage her to look me in the eye.

"Why?" she croaked. "Who?"

"Harriet, hey." I picked her hand up and interlaced her fingers in mine. "I used the TARDIS, went back in over my personal time stream. Again. It was you, before you regenerated. Harold. I- I. Before, in the argument we had, I hadn't slept with the Harold in the past, I thought you were just using it as a... But then I missed him. So much. So I went back and- I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Harry, I'm so sorry." I placed my forehead on hers. "I'm so sorry."

Harriet placed a hand on the back of my neck, pulling me towards her. For only a moment she kissed me, then simply looked me in the eye. "Me, too. For- the same reason. But it's okay. It's okay, we're okay. It's okay. I've already forgiven you for this, remember?"