Unfold

Chapter Thirty (30)

Jean didn't know it was possible for her life to change so much in a matter of weeks.

It had only been just over a month since the last time she set foot in Carmello's, but it felt like a lifetime ago. She felt like she had completely betrayed Shawn's trust, but after talking through all the emotions of why she kept it hidden and what made her want to work there in the first place, Jean uncovered a lot of baggage from her past. Shawn encouraged her to seek counseling for the trauma she was still dealing with, but Jean was apprehensive. She knew she needed it, but the thought of diving into all those emotions was too much right now. There was too many new things happening in her life.

Scott had finally asked out Chloe, and she fell into their group as effortlessly as Jean had. Jean absolutely adored her; she was down to earth and one of the kindest people she had ever met. She also had a goofy sense of humor and a quick wit. Jean wasn't surprised that Scottie had stopped wasting his time dating around when he met her. Chloe was wanting to move out of her parents house and was looking for a roommate. Jean was living month to month at her own apartment at this point, and she needed a change. She liked living across the hall from Brooke, but with everything she was trying to walk away from, she knew that change would be the best.

Jean was happy not to have to live alone anymore. While she enjoyed having her own space at times, she would rather have company and someone to talk to. She knew it was good for her; it would be nice to have someone to split the bills with too.

While Jean still had lots of money saved up from Carmello's, she was in the process of finding a new job. She had gotten an online customer service representative job and worked from home, but she wanted to get a job where she could be around people again. Chloe knew of some future administrative openings at the office she worked at, so Jean knew there were some options. All of it was enough motivation to look at colleges to apply to for the spring semester.

All of the changes were overwhelming, but she knew it was going to be for the best. She was tired of putting her life on hold. She actually wanted to do something now. Even though she wasn't completely certain on what she wanted to do, applying was the first step, and she would figure everything out as it came.

Not surprisingly, it was easier to walk into church now that she wasn't hiding the fact that she worked at a strip club. She was understanding who Jesus was more and more, and even though she didn't completely understand how people felt God's presence or talked to him, she was becoming more and more comfortable with church. If nothing else, they gave really good advice on how to better her life.

The series the church was doing that month was on family, and Jean found herself uncomfortable. She thought about what Shawn had said about her running away from everything but her parents were the ones who ran away from her. However, she did avoid thinking about them or dealing with her feelings. Jean knew that she was probably lying to herself when she told herself she didn't care. She had accepted her reality and she adapted.

"Is there any way for you to just tell them how you feel?" Shawn had asked one day after church. "Your parents? Do you think they would be receptive if you just stopped pretending everything was fine?"

Jean couldn't even imagine having a serious conversation with her parents. She didn't even know them anymore.

"I can't imagine it," Jean said. "It just seems too weird."

"What if you write them a letter?" Shawn said. "You know how people write letters and never send them? Maybe you could do that, and then decide if you want to send it or not."

Jean laughed, knowing that the idea of writing a letter would definitely be easier than talking on the phone. She could tell them what she had been through in the past few months. Maybe it would wake them up.