Find Me in Vienna

1. An offer I definitely should have refused.

To be completely honest, I don't think it could get any worse. I mean, there's bad and then there's bad, and this definitely falls into the first category. The category of flat hair, botched makeup, chipped nails, falling on a stage. That's where I'm at right now. I guess I should be thankful I'm not in the other spot, but sometimes you just have to let a girl cry some tears over embarrassing herself, call it the worst day of her life and move on. Anyways, we will get to what actually happened but to start we have to go back. Back approximately two years ago to baby me moving into the big city for a better high school education. That's right. I'm a nerd. I couldn't even wait until university to pursue higher education. 

I smiled at the strangers that would be my classmates for the next two years. The butterflies eased as I realized they looked like regular people, I actually could belong here. As the first nerves of not belonging from being the dumbest person here faded away, a new anxiety creeped into its place. If they all look like normal people, it's probably me that there's something wrong with. Rule 101 of anxiety: there's always something wrong with you, even when you can't think of anything at the time. If I smiled at them, maybe they won't realize what that thing is right away. Irrational thinking I know, but I can't help it. I sat down beside a girl not really looking at her. I started thinking that maybe this wasn't a huge mistake until the teacher said the worst words a teacher could: say your name and something fun about yourself. I really don't think there's one person in the history of school that has actually liked when a teacher has done this. I could only say the one interesting thing about me, that I'm the vice- ambassador of where I'm from. It's ridiculous really, that me of all people, average Allie with the anxiety entered a pageant let alone win a spot, but here we are. Immediately I regret it. These people don't need any other reason to assume I don't belong, and a pageant princess definitely doesn't belong in the toughest high school program in the area. Alas, my fears went, as they usually did, unneeded. 

Time passed throughout the school year relatively uneventful. A few parties, too many tests to count, and one new boy. He was blonde, the smartest guy in the class, and was always too cool to go to the parties. Setting up my work for class, Emily snickered beside me. My neck tweaked from shooting it up too fast.

"Whats so funny?" I hissed. I knew Steven had just walked in, my stomach fluttered as I saw his shoes walk by our desks. 

"Steve was staring at you the entire time, " She replied, a smug look on her face. "See I told you he was into you!" I rolled my eyes at that, not even giving it the dignity of a response. 

"He's looking at you again. I don't know why you don't just go and talk to him we're all friends here." Emily was the outgoing one of our duo, friendly with everyone. I on the other hand only ever talk to people when they talk back to me. It's not like I don't like people either. It's that I'm terrified I say the wrong thing, overanalyze it for the next week and regret ever opening my mouth in the first place. I reminded Em of this to which I got the eye roll now. 

"You know, I have no idea how you won that pageant anyways. I've seen you at it, I know you have to talk to a whole whack of strangers for it." 

"Thats the key," I explained for probably the 100th time, "they're strangers. Never to be seen or heard from again. I can put on my friendly stranger face and do what I need to do." 

"Well suck it up and find your big boy pants." She was staring over my shoulder, a smile forming on her lips, "he's coming over here right now."

My perpetually wide eyes grew in size as a deep voice rumbled over my shoulder.

"Hi uhh.. Allie." In the second it took for Steven to say that, I decided it would be the best to pretend I didn't hear him and keep staring at Emily. Rolling her eyes, she roughly spun me around to face him. Keeping up the quiet act, my face felt like it was about to melt off as he stared at me expectantly. I knew, as I paid way too much attention to his actions, he only ever talked to his closest friends in class. Never dared talk to the rest of us mere mortals unless it was for school.