Shattered Souls | 18+

10. Nightmares

Toni does, in fact, fall asleep.

She doesn't realize it at first—everything feels real. He feels real. His hands on her waist, drawing her closer. His lips on her neck, kissing a line up the column of her throat. Even his voice.

"I think this is a mistake," he whispers against her skin, his breath coming in pants.

"The bigger mistake would be not doing this," she whispers back. She tugs on Steve's shirt until he finally reaches up and pulls it off. His lips are back on her in an instant. Toni's hands shake as they trace his abs, his back, before finding their home in his hair. Toni has always loved his hair.

"Toni..." Steve whispers. There is hesitation in his voice.

"Captain," Toni whispers back. She feels Steve smile against her lips.

They're in Clint's farmhouse. It's the first and only time they let themselves be together like this, shedding the hate that for so long masked their desire. Ultron is running rampant through the world, killing as he goes. Tomorrow, they will have to face what Toni created. Tomorrow, they will pull themselves together and save the world for the umpteenth time. But tonight, it's just them—her and Steve—in a bedroom that reminds Toni of a life she wants but will never have.

Toni can feel Steve hard against her thigh.

"Are you sure you wanna do this?" Steve asks. Ever the gentleman.

Toni lets out a breathy laugh. "Rogers," she chides. "Do I ever do things I don't wanna do?"

Steve leans back and looks at Toni. He just... looks. His eyes rove over her body—her neck, her breasts, her stomach, her thighs. And then he smiles—a slow, crooked smile.

There's something in his eyes, when he smiles like that. Something that makes Toni's chest tighten to the point of pain. "Are you sure you wanna do this?" she asks. "America's golden boy with She Who Must Not Be Named?" Toni flips Steve over and kisses down his stomach. She pauses and looks up at him. She is all eyes. "Might cause a bit of a stir."

Steve brushes a stray hair behind Toni's ear and whispers, "I don't care." He traces her mouth with his thumb, tugging on her lower lip just a bit. Just enough for Toni to feel warmth pool in her belly.

His hand lowers, gently gripping her throat as he pulls her towards him into another fierce kiss. Toni melts into Steve. She straddles his waist. There is just enough friction between them—enough for Toni to let out a low sound she would, in any other circumstance, be embarrassed Steve heard.

"Toni..." Steve groans when she grinds herself into him.

His hand tightens on her throat—just a little, at first. Just enough for Toni to think I always knew America's golden boy was kinky. Then the hand tightens more—and Toni tries to say too hard, Cap, you trying to kill me? But no sound comes out.

"You really thought I wanted you, Stark? You?" Steve scoffs—a bitter sound that makes Toni flinch in his grip. "I could never want you."

Black spots appear in Toni's vision—she only sees fragments of Steve. His eyes, blue with a little bit of green. His mouth, turned cruel.

Toni knows, logically, that this isn't real. It's a dream—a nightmare. A memory. And that's the thing about Toni's memories—they seem to bleed into one another, until she doesn't know where the memory ends and the nightmare begins.

Toni claws at Steve's arms, but it's no use. Without her armour, she is no match for the super soldier. She is completely at his mercy. He flips them over, so it's him hovering over her. His hands—his lovely, calloused hands—are a noose around Toni's throat.