Beauty and the Beaast

Amber: Waiting

Nerves tying her stomach in knots, Amber fidgeted outside the locked double door behind which the local leadership were meeting. Two men in army fatigues stood across the hall, watching silently. "It's been over an hour. What's taking so long?" she hissed under her breath.

"Relax, Sugar," Julie said gently. Her eyes stayed closed as she leaned against the wall. She patted an open spot on the bench beside her. "Worrying won't make that door open any faster."

Amber sat down gingerly to keep from jostling her injured side. What she needed was something to take her mind off of what might be going on behind those doors. "How come you never told me your dad was in the military?"

Eyes still closed, Julie shrugged. "It's not something I really talk much about. I was the youngest of five and by the time I was old enough to remember much Dad and Mom were always fighting. Mom hated the military life. She'd had enough."

"Is that why they divorced?"

"Yep."

Amber mulled that over for a moment. "When I was six my parents almost got a divorce. Did I ever tell you that?"

"No kidding." Julie opened her eyes. "Why'd they stay together?"

Amber hesitated for a moment. "Um... counseling."

Snorting, Julie closed her eyes again. "No amount of counseling would have fixed what was wrong with my parents."

No, probably not. The truth was that Amber's parents hadn't just done counseling. They'd also started going to church. It had been fun at first. Children's church and Sunday school brought new friends and new ideas. She was too young to discern whether or not what she was she was being taught was truth. After that, she'd grown up in the church. She never questioned what she was taught all through high school. She'd had a simple faith: faith that just was.

But did I ever make a choice? I don't remember. The thought bothered her. In Sunday school she'd always known the answer to every question. But did I really understand any of it? Do I believe any of it?

She mulled that over for a moment. She thought of her parents, a pang of loss twisting her heart. Her parents were always so sure of their faith. The change she'd seen in them was proof. Even years later, their relationship was stronger than ever. Until Mom died last year. It wasn't until then that she'd ever even started to doubt. Then Dad had been her Rock, stoking her tottering faith. Because of him she'd tamped down her doubts. She hadn't wanted to disappoint him.

And there it was: the crux of it all. The foundation of her faith. It was all... Dad. Now he, too, was gone. And without him... what do I believe?

The door beside her pushed open, interrupting her thoughts. A young officer waved her in.

"Good luck," whispered Julie, squeezing her hand.