Savior ◆ MinYoongi✔

nineteen: Songtext

After I met Miri I was thinking a lot about him.

I mean he never did harm me - okay yes, except of this one time and this was when I searched through his personal stuff.

I should've let him explain at least, he had looked sorry.

So when I was about to get home after school my mind kept wandering to this one boy who was the reason of the drastic changings in my life and I wasn't really surprised when I ended up standing in front of the building Yoongi's apartment was in.

But did he still live there? I didn't saw him again after that one day, I couldn't even be sure if he still was in Seoul.

And did he even remember me? It's been a long time, maybe he forgot about what happened? Maybe I'm exaggerating and it didn't bother him.

I nibbled on my lower lip as all these thoughts flew through my mind and I started to regret my decision of coming here.

But I wanted to see him. I didn't want to run away again, like I always did. From my parents, from my problems, from Yoongi.

I didn't want to run away this time. So I sucked in a deep breath and crossed the street to Yoongi's apartment.

Strangely, the door was open but it didn't seem like someone was home.

I hesitated but decided to step in anyways.

Yoongi obviously still lived there, the rooms where still in their same messy yet cozy condition.

Holly wasn't there so he maybe was out with him but forgot to lock the door? But why has it been this wide open?

Maybe he wanted someone to enter his apartment? Okay, I didn't really believed that but used this thought as an excuse so that I wouldn't feel guilty when I entered  fully.

I started to look around the small rooms, feeling ashamed that I was looking through his stuff again.

I mean what if he came back and a girl he didn't even remember was practically stalking him?

As I entered his messy studio the first thing I noticed where the hand written paper sheets that where laying around on the desk.

My eyes scanned the papers and I took one, starting to read.

Habitual saying
I don't give a shit I don't give a fuck
All those words
Those words are said to hide my weak self
Those days I wish I could erase
Right, that performance day
Which I don't remember very well
The day I confronted myself
When I hid inside the bathroom
Because I was scared of people

That time 
I thought success would make everything fine
But you see
As time goes by, I feel like I'm turning into a monster

At times I'm scared of myself too
Thanks to the depression that takes over me
And all my self hatred
Min Yoongi is dead already, I killed him
Comparing my dead passion with others
It's now a part of my daily life

...

My pride which I thought I had given away
Has turned into self-respect
My friend, keep your head high with pride
Because you  can do it like me

-

I felt numb as I read this, my eyes weren't able to look away from this text.

Why?

Because Min Yoongi was fighting his depression.
With music.

He found a way to turn his problems into something that made him stronger.

These texts where so full of passion.

I jumped startled as I heard the door close behind me turning around shocked.

"Y-Y/N?"

He wore his dark blue coat as always and his white bangs fell into his face as he looked at me in surprise. He really didn't change, did he?

I just looked at Yoongi, afraid what he would do now after he caught me searching through his stuff again, mentally slapping myself for doing so.

We stared at each other without saying a word, me waiting for him to do something.

But then a strange smile creeped over his face and he took a small step forward.

"I knew you would come back."

^._.^

Short update

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