Where Is Home? ✦ T. Holland

chapter thirty-five: dead inside

Anger was in every stride as I walked to my car. Tears flowed more than they ever had, more than I thought possible.

Except, I remembered a psychology fact I heard. Anger is often mistaken for being hurt.

That's when it hit me.

Tom cheated on me, and we're over.

Another woman with him, better than me. I had given him my heart and soul, and he had given it away for a piece of trash at a bar. What did I do to deserve this?

My body broke down. I cried until I couldn't breathe and was shaking, and my whole body was limp. My face stung and I realized I had been crying for an hour and a half.

I sat there for an hour. I had run out of tears, at least for now, and my body ached.

I drove home and ran inside, not even bothering to lock the car or door.

I ran to my room where Laura and Zendaya were laughing and slammed the door before jumping into them.

"What's wrong?" Zendaya sat up immediately, like a watch dog who heard a squirrel.

"He cheated." I croaked.

"No." Laura gasped.

I turned on my back and nodded, breaking down once again. They sent me all the reassuring words they could, but nothing worked.

I had lost him. My everything.

It took them three hours before they had to leave, but I stayed in bed. Then my dad got home around 5.

"Honey?" He asked as he walked into my room. He saw me curled up under my covers, with tear stains everywhere.

"Oh blaze, what happened?" He walked over to me.

"He cheated on me." I spoke, looking into his eyes.

He engulfed me in a giant hug and didn't let go for a solid two minutes.

"Boys really suck don't they?" He asked after awhile.

"Yeah." I said while holding back even more tears.

"Well, I promise your friends and I will do everything we can to help you, okay? You're gonna get over him, and when you do, you'll be a bad ass bitch that he will regret hurting." He said, which caused me to smile for the first time in what felt like a century.

"Thanks dad." I said, very gratefully.

"Anything for you blaze. And remember, playing the piano always helps you." He winked before standing up and walking out.

When he left I began sulking again, and this continued for the next two days.

I was sleeping in until noon when I got a call. It was Zendaya.

"Hey." My voice was raspy and broken.

"How have you been baby?" She made her voice sugary sweet with helped me.

"Dead inside." I spoke plainly.

"Well, I'm gonna bring over some gifts later for you, okay?" She said nicely.

"Thank you Daya. You're the best, really." I spoke, and I meant it. She had done so much for me in two days, because she knew how shattered I was.

"No probably girl." She ended the call. I was about to put my phone away when I got another call.

Harrison?

I hesitantly picked it up, and answered.

"What's up Haz?" I spoke groggily.

"Bella, I'm so sorry about that. You don't deserve that." His tone was gentle.

"It's okay. Why'd you call?" That would sound harsh to me if I hadn't just been cheated on, but here I am.

"Well, I've been Tom's best friend for too long to know that wasn't him. Don't worry, this isn't a call to get you two back together. I just wanted you to know that I lectured the bloody hell out of him, multiple times. And through all the years of him drinking, he does do stupid shit when he's drunk. So he wasn't lying when he told you that, but that still doesn't give him an excuse to cheat on you," He said respectively.
"I also want to ask how you've been."

"I've basically stayed in my room and bed for three days, and people bring food to me. So, if that doesn't answer your question, then I'm doing absolutely shitty." I spoke honestly.

"I'm terribly sorry about that." He uttered, and I could tell Tom was right next to him from the background noises.

"As much as I hate him, how is Tom?" I wanted to know. I had been cheated on, but I didn't lose my morals.

"Same as you, except add about three gallons of tears. He really misses you." Harrison said with a sigh.

"I wish I could say the same, but I don't want to be with someone who doesn't love me. Anyway, I've got to go." My words were brutal, although it wasn't the truth.

As mad as I am at Tom, and as much pain his actions have caused me, I can't deny that I miss him. I miss him so much. I miss his words, his face, his morning hair, his body next to mine. Everything.

It sounds like he feels the same, but then again I thought he'd never cheat on me and I was wrong about that. And to think I thought he was the perfect guy.

"That was bitter, but understandable. See ya, Bella." He spoke. I heard soft sobs in the background.

"Bye Haz." Tell Tom to make a time machine and undo his actions so I can cuddle him.

But I can't say that, because clearly Tom and I are over. Forever.