Still Holding On (Jenlisa)

Chapter 15

AN : So this story reached 1K? It's been like 2 weeks since I started writing it. This is crazy y'all. Thanks for reading. Here's another update!

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Jennie's POV

For nearly a year now, I had been living behind a mask. If you looked closely, you could see the cracks in its surface. The mask gave the outward appearance that everything was fine. It made people think that I was the perfect wife and that I loved my perfect husband. I hid behind that mask during the daylight hours. At night, it fell off. I hid in the shadows and let the darkness cover me in its cold veil. It was only then that I let my tears fall.

It wasn't until I met her, that I realised how naive my idea of love was. Love was meant to be consuming and painful. I didn't feel that with Jin. Lisa lit my heart up in ways that I could never put into words. I heard it somewhere long ago that true love burns with an intensity that's almost unbearable. She gave me those things. In her arms, I was home. If I had known her before I agreed to marry Jin, things would have played out to be so much different.

I felt sick. The past few weeks I had difficulties in sleeping and eating. Anything I ate made me nauseous. I had become emotional and completely miserable. I wasn't this person. I had never lied to anyone before in my entire life. And now, I felt completely out of touch with myself because this just wasn't the person that I had grown up to be.

When Jin told me that he wouldn't be able to make it to Thailand until three weeks after I left, I had never felt more relieved.

As I pulled up to the house, I could see Lisa sitting on the bench and typing on her phone. She didn't look up from her task and I didn't really expect her to. She was completely focused on whatever she was doing. I could see Rosé in the garden with Carol. I stepped out of the vehicle and doubled over as the sudden feeling of sickness washed over me. Taehyung quickly ran over to see if I was okay.

"You alright Jen?" He asked with a concerned look on his face. 

"Yeah" I breathed. "Just a little carsick" I said as he led me to the porch to sit.

I smiled my thanks and took a couple deep breaths. I noticed Lisa briefly pause what she was doing to study me. After about a minute or so, she resumed her work. I probably wouldn't have been able to move even if I wanted to. Once she put her phone into her jacket's pocket, she made her way over to me.

"You look really pale Nini" She said, her features heavy with concern.

"I haven't been feeling well" I explained.

"You should lay down" She said softly. "Come on. Let's go upstairs"

"Okay" I said slowly, standing up. I felt wobbly and was relieved when I felt her arm wrap around my waist. "Sorry" I spoke, taking a shaky breath.

"I've got you" She said, her tone reassuring.

She took me upstairs and helped me into bed. Her touch was gentle and comforting as always. I wanted so much for her to crawl into bed and hold me. However, that would be asking for too much. Once she tucked me into bed, she kissed my forehead and mumbled something about bringing me some food.

She returned thirty minutes later with a bowl of tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich. Surprisingly, I was able to keep it down. She sat silently as I ate the food. I could tell she had something on her mind.

"You're distant" I said softly.

"I know. I'm sorry" She said.

"Are you upset with me?" I asked.