Sink or Swim

t h r e e

Chapter Three - Addilyn

It takes me two days to arrange the house in the way that makes the perfectionist in me happy. I got that factor from Mom. She used to squint at the room and look for the one thing that was bothering her, fix it, and then walk off. It irked her if one little thing was out of place. Dad always said she was lucky, it meant she did jobs well but Mom and I would always turn to each other and shake our heads.

Dad made me promise that I'd go for dinner tonight and so I made sure in advance that I'd be prepared tonight for the sympathetic smiles and longing stares. Or at least whatever the hell was thrown at me. All I know is the the guy also has two children; a boy my age and a younger girl.

Children I don't mind; it's the guy my age that I'm nervous about. I'm not in the mood to be making friends right now. I don't want to have to rely on anyone, especially not knowing how long that friendship is going to last or when they'll leave like Mom.

Yesterday, after much internal debate, I had decided it was time to go near the water again. Leading me to this moment here, me walking across the street and onto the beach. The second I step onto the sand, I notice the cool breeze against my now bare skin. I make my way a little closer to the water so the sand doesn't move as much with every step I take. The smell of the ocean was enough to make me nauseous.

I run for twenty minutes down to these rocks. When I stop, I head over to the edge of them and I'm about to crawl down to find a place to sit when I notice someone already sitting there. I instead decide to run back home, if I could call it home. There was nothing really keeping me here, Mom always told me that home is where the heart is, and if I'm being honest my heart is with Mom. That sounds really bad, like I wanted to commit suicide to be with her, but I could never do that to myself. Not again.

When I hit the spot on the beach where my house is, I stop and give myself a second to breathe. My breathing is shallow, weak from not having ran in a weeks. I look up, ready to go take a shower and change when I noticed that the same little girl I saw sitting on a log when we arrived. She was in the same place on the log, a depressed expression covering her face. My legs take over control, heading straight towards her. No matter how many times I try to send cues to my body to stop, my legs just keeps walking. She looks up at me as I sit down beside her, giving her a friendly smile. The first thing I notice are her bloodshot eyes and how young she is. She has crinkle lines around her eyes, and obviously they weren't from age.

"Hey, are you okay?" I ask gently, not sure what else to do or say.

She nods, pulling her knees into her chin. I noticed tears in her eyes before mentioning, "I know you don't know me, but do you mind if I hug you? As weird as it sounds, when I was a kid and I was upset, no matter what a hug made me feel better."

She peers over at me and seems to process what I just said before giving a slow nod. I wrap my arms around her, pulling her into my side. She starts crying harder, causing a wet splotch on my shirt. I start rocking her, rubbing her back in a way that I remember was soothing when my Mom did it to me. Her small frame starts shaking uncontrollably, and I know that neither of us were going to stop that one.

Luckily I didn't run that far today, so I probably don't smell like sweat. My mind begins to wander everywhere, memories crossing my mind.

I was so out of it that I didn't notice a guy my age walking up to us until he was right next to us. "Hey kid, do you want to head home?"

He is extremely attractive, and in no subtle way. His eyes are a deep blue, the kind that would remind you of a stormy ocean. His mop of brown hair that is slightly disheveled in the wind. The guy offers his hand to the little girl and she softly takes it, using him to pull herself up.