love is not a choice {panic! at the disco} |DISCONTINUED|

cant take the kid from the fight

Taylor POV

I hate being at my house. I hate it. It reminds me of so many terrible memories that will haunt me for the rest of my life. I honestly would rather be homeless than have to live here. The time is currently 5:00 p.m., and my 'father' gets home at around 7:00 p.m., usually hammered. Every Wednesday and Sunday I have to clean the house before he comes home, since today is a Wednesday, my Cinderella side comes out, if only I had mice and birds to help me and make cleaning less miserable, and if only I was as pretty. I wish I was at the Urie's right now watching band practice, wondering how the goddess Nicole is doing, I also just love watching them practice, and then I always get to play something. I don't have a guitar or piano here because my dad would throw it at me or break it, I learned how to play all these instruments at the Urie's, they are basically my family, just because you are blood related to someone doesn't mean they are your family, my so called 'father', is not my family. I clean up the entire house at around 6:50, very close to my deadline. Now, I go up into my room, lock the door, put my headphones in, try to work on something to distract myself, and wait for the devil in disguise to walk through my door.

Brendon POV

I just dropped Taylor off at her house and I am sad. I want her to come to band practice with us and I know what happens to her at home, I am just constantly worried about her, she hates that I worry about her, but it's hard not to. All the bruises from her father and what she does to her wrists and thighs, makes it difficult to believe when she says she's okay. I just wish she could like move in with us and be away from that monster. My parents say that he used to be a good guy, all happy and funny, until he got into drinking a little after Taylor's mom, Andrea, died, after giving birth to Taylor.

I pull the car into the driveway, Spencer and Ryan quickly hop out of the car and run straight into the garage for band practice. I hope that we aren't just wasting our time with this band, we work so hard, but I am just nervous it won't go anywhere. Spencer and Ryan are in the garage just messing around with their guitars and drums while I warm up my voice. We have to play our best to impress Nicole, our possible new bassist, and this has to go well, we have had way too many bassists in the past almost two years. I know we all just met Nicole, but she seems pretty cool, and she is really pretty. I shouldn't be thinking that though, I have a lovely girlfriend, Sarah, and she is the best thing to ever happen to me, that is so chiche, but I love her, she is the love of my life. Nicole shows up and we all greet each other and head straight to work. We show her a couple of our songs and she seems to like them, she grabs a bass and asks us to play one of our songs 'I Write Sins Not Tragedies' and comes up with a pretty cool bass line that we never thought of. I think she will be a great fit. After giving her the bass line to our songs and her learning them quicker than humanly possible, practicing, and hearing he sing back-up vocals, Ryan, Spencer, and I have a talk to see if we want her to join the band. "She is an incredible bassist!" Spencer exclaims. "Her voice sounds pretty damn good with your voice and mine, I think she would be a great fit," Ryan says. "Me too," I state, "So we are all in agreement to let her join the band?" Ryan and Spencer nod, we all smile at each other and turn around to face Nicole. "Congratulations Ms. Nicole Row, you are now the bassist for Panic! at the Disco!" I yell. She looks shocked, and then smiles like she had just seen a thousand puppies, she runs over to us and hugs us, "Thank you so much!" she squeals. Let's hope that she's our bassist for a while, because shes a bad ass.

Nicole POV

I am freaking out! I am in a band! I never thought that I would be in a band, I have always wanted to! And I have been in Vegas for less than a week and I am in a band and possibly have four friends already. This is insane. They all seem like such nice people, and I can't wait to get to know them better. I have classes with a bunch of them. I am not okay right now. This is a dream come true, I thought I would hate it here, turns out I am wrong. I cannot wait to start practicing more with the band and creating some more songs, because all the songs they have right now are amazing! This one called 'Build God, Then We'll Talk' is one of my favorites! The way they incorporate the 'Sound of Music' into it is so cool! I say goodbye to all the guys and drive back to my house, which isn't too far away from the Urie's, maybe about fifteen minutes. I am still starstruck. This isn't real. Is it?

I hop out of my car and walk into the white, stone house. I am greeted by my mother and father, "How was your first day of school? Did you make any friends? Did that band thing go okay?" They bombard me with all these questions, like chill. "Okay, chill," I laugh and smile at them. "The first day was fine, I mean it's school so. I think I made some friends, they are the people that asked me to try out for their band and their friend, they seem pretty cool. And you are looking at the Panic! at the Disco bassist!" I yell in excitement, my parents come give me a hug and tell me how proud they am of me. "I am proud of you in all, but what type of name is Panic! at the Disco?" my father asks. I laugh and think, that is a weird name. "Honestly, I don't know what they were thinking, but I think it has a nice ring to it, and you'll be hearing it everywhere someday," I say. My parents smile and I walk up to my room and plop onto my bed. Maybe Vegas won't be that bad after all.

Taylor POV

It's now about 8:15 p.m. and he still hasn't come home. He was supposed to be home an hour ago. He's probably out drinking later than he normally does. What if he is downstairs but he wants me to think he's not home so that I come downstairs and I can be an easy target? Highly unlikely, when he gets home from work, or whatever the hell he does, he sounds like an elephant trying to walk in tiny heels. But I wonder, should I go downstairs and see?

No

But I kind of want to

No, you could possibly get hurt

Yes, go downstairs, you deserve to get treated like this, you killed your mother

No, I didn't mean to, it's not my fault. I am not going downstairs

But it is your fault, you're the reason she died. Go downstairs and get treated how you should be

I end up going downstairs. I am probably just overthinking the whole thing, and if he is downstairs, he's sleeping, there is no way he is home and has not made any noise. There's a giant pit in my stomach as I walk down the creaky steps. I feel like I could throw up. My heart is pounding out of my chest. If I see him, I run straight back up to my room. This is like a video game, if he catches me, it is game over. I just wish going out of my room or coming back from the Urie's past 7:00 p.m. wasn't so stressful. I wish I had a different family, I wish I could start over. Wish I didn't kill my mother, wish my father wasn't such an asshole, wish I didn't have cuts on my arms, wish I didn't have bruises all over my body, wish I wasn't sad all the time, wish I didn't gag when I eat. I wish I wasn't me, but I don't have a choice. I pause for a moment once I get to the end of the wall on the stairs. Take a deep breath and poke my head around the corner. I don't see him. I take my body out from behind the wall and finish walking down the stairs. I still don't see him, so I just decide to walk into the kitchen and see if there is anything to eat. There never is, but it's not like I retain the calories and nutrients anyways anymore. So, I start to head out of the kitchen and I hear the front door open. "Fuck, shit," I whisper-yell. I panic around the kitchen just pacing, hoping he is too drunk to notice me. Which would be hard since the kitchen is right next to the front door. I am so screwed. I shouldn't have come down the stairs. Now, I am just standing in the middle of the kitchen, in plain sight. I see him in the living room with his back currently towards me. If he turns around he would be able to see me. I start to tremble. My breath quickens. Heart is beating faster. The pit in my stomach has grown into a watermelon. I cannot show up to school tomorrow with any bruises. It is only the second day of school, people will think I am more weird than I already am. What would Nicole think of me? I debate on if I should try and sneak past him or just stay here and let him attack me. If I stay and he sees me, I am just asking for it. What if I am successful in trying to sneak back upstairs? I could make it. He is standing in the living room looking at the T.V., the stairs are in the back left corner of the living room. I can make it, right?

* That's the end of chapter 2! This chapter sucked so bad and I am sorry, but I hope you enjoyed! This chapter is literally all over the place (my life haha). Anyways, love y'all! *

** Also, this is stupid but whenever I say 'love of my life' I always think of the Queen song. If any of y'all haven't heard 'Love Of My Life' by Queen I 1000000000/10 recommend you go listen to that song right now, it is so beautiful. **