love is not a choice {panic! at the disco} |DISCONTINUED|

welcome to the end of eras

* Hey! quick little authors note, this is my first story thing and I do not expect it to be that good but I hope you enjoy it! This story will cover topics like self harm, depression, anxiety, abuse, drugs, alcohol, and possibly other triggering issues, so read with caution (I will put trigger warnings over most chapters, but I forget a lot so just be careful) , and if you ever need to talk to someone, I am always here :) Also, I don't want y'all to think that I am romanticizing or glorifying any of these serious topics, because I have experienced many of these thing I am writing about (to kind of cope with them I guess) and I know people who are dealing with these things, so just be safe and I'm always here *

Taylor POV

The sound of my alarm is beating in my head. The sound of honking horns going into downtown Las Vegas haunt me. I groan. I don't want to do this today, or any day for a matter of fact. Today is the first day of school and I am not looking forward to it, I mean who on Earth does? If you look forward to the first day of school you need to see a therapist or something. I lay in bed for a good ten minutes and then finally have the courage to get up and get ready for the first day of hell. Today I am going to wear a white long sleeved, some black ripped jeans, and my black-white checkered vans, which is literally the most basic look ever, but I don't care. I head to the bathroom to brush my long blonde hair and do my makeup. I put my hair up into a pony tail since that is about the only thing that it looks good in, and for makeup I just put on a bit of powder and some mascara, I really should put on some more makeup since I need it, but I was in bed way too long to have time for anything else. I check my phone and see that Brendon texted me 10 minutes ago saying that he was on his way to pick me up, which means he should be here any second now. Since I don't have time to eat anything, I quietly walk down the stairs trying not to wake my dad up, if I woke him up this day would be a lot worse than it already is going to be. I open the door and Brendon is outside with Ryan and Spencer already in the car. "You ready?" Brendon asks. "As ready as I'll ever be for today," I say in a sarcastic tone. I hop in the car and say hello to Spencer and Ryan, and then Brendon puts on some music and we blast some tunes all the way to the hell hole called school.

We are here. Butterflies are in my stomach. I hate school more than I hate myself, which says a lot. School just adds to my abundant amount of problems at home. I just sit in the car while the others are getting out. I always get a little nervous and anxious at school but the first day is always a rough one. Everyone is out of the car waiting for me, and I finally decide to join them. Once you enter the school you see tables sectioned by last name to get your schedule. Spencer and I walk over to the table labeled M-S. "Hello! Welcome back to Ridgewood High School! What's your name?" this way too excited PTA mom says to me. "Taylor Scott," I reply. "Here is your schedule dear!" she exclaims while she hands me my schedule. I quickly thank her and walk away before she can say anything else, how can someone be so excited this early in the morning? Once everyone has their schedules we meet in this corner by this pod of classrooms and discuss our schedules. I have second period algebra 2 with Brendon and Spencer, A lunch with the whole crew, and fourth period music and media with the whole squad. This is the most classes I have ever had with anyone so I am pretty excited, especially for A days, B days will be less exciting, since I will be Ms. Lonely all day. Since today is the first day of school, we go to all eight classes, which seems a tad bit overwhelming. Normally, since we have a blocked schedule we only go to four classes a day. I am just hoping that today will be fine, and that I will make new friends in classes that I don't have friends with, who am I kidding though, I don't know how to talk to people I don't know.

The bell rings for first period and I am kind of nervous, I don't know anyone in this class. I go sit in the back corner so maybe I can fool people and make it seem like I don't exist. As more people fill in, no one sits next to me. Which makes me feel kind of bad, but then at the same time I don't want people to know I exist. The final bell rings, signaling the start of class. Mr. Ramos, my United States history teacher, quickly introduces himself and takes roll. I look up to observe the classroom as he is calling names and I find that there are some people that I kind of know, I know them and they know who I am, but we aren't friends, we are acquaintances, I guess. As I skim the classroom I also see people who haven't been nice to me, like that bitch Ella Adams, who called me a freak all throughout middle school for having bruises all over me and scars on my arms. There are also some new faces, people I haven't seen before, this girl that sat in front of me is one of those people. She has wavy, long blonde hair, green-ish eyes, and looks like she would be a nice person. I have learned that you can't just think someone is nice by their looks, she is so gorgeous and I want to talk to her, but I know that will never happen. "Taylor Scott," Mr. Ramos says, "Here!" I yell back, in quiet yell I guess, and the girl in front of me looks back at me.