• THE ONE • A Thomas Shelby Fanfic •

C5 - We Can Imagine

I examined the hand clamped over mine, large and filled with veins. Blue and green lines ran up his hand through the middle of his wrists and intertwined as they ran up his arm. I left soft kisses up and down his arms, my head resting over his chest as we laid motionlessly on his bed. Comfortable in each other's space.

I think it was his strong woodsy-scent I admired the most, that unique smell I could inhale for days. Or perhaps the way he looked, constantly dressed flawlessly, always sincere to who he is and where he came from, though he owned fancy cars Thomas was a high-class man. Who, although, looked like an arse, was a good man.

"Bria," He said my name, his breath touching me everywhere. I glanced up, the light from the large window giving Tommy a glowing face. "I don't want to lose you again."

"I would never leave you, Tommy," I looked down, "I don't want to."

His hummed roared from within, "I imagine you leaving again, going back to Romania."

"If I leave, I'm taking you with me." I look up, a smile playing on my lips.

"Romania," He mused, "Is it as nice as it's said to be?"

I smiled, my fingers lacing over his, covering his fingers completely, "Somewhat," I raised our hands into the sunlight. "There's more life there. More happiness. Less grey, more colour." I remember going to the beach practically every night, I was gracious that the home my family and I shared was right by the water.

"Nothing like here." He murmured, examining our hands as they glow against the sunlight.

"This is better." I turn to him, smiling helplessly. He's back in my arms again.

"Why's that?" Thomas's eyebrows pull together in confusion.

"You're here, my dad was too My childhood was here, mum was here.."

"Sounds like everyone you want whose here is dead."

"That's not true. I want you," I sat up and looked down at Thomas. I stared st him, as he stared at me. My fingers brush over his chin, getting lost in the memory of him and Grace I freeze. "But you're married."

"I know." His fingers touched my exposed skin, the back of his hand touching my chest, my breasts, my ribs. I desperately wanted us to be back together again. "But the second I saw you again, I knew it was a mistake," his eyes trickle back up to mine.

"Grace was?" My eyebrows furrow.

"If I said yes would you promise to answer something for me?"

Thomas sat up too, running his hand through my hair.

"Okay." I sound weary. I am weary.

"Why did you leave me and not say goodbye?"

The history of my departure is simple. I saw something happen to me, through the lens of Tommy Shelby. He killed me, murder by gun. After that, I ran away helplessly, shamelessly. Petrified that my dream was going to be a reality soon enough. I had the ability to rearrange history, so I did.

But I've gone and done it, haven't I? Letting him back into my life. But how could I have not? This man is undeniable, he's my heart and soul. He carries my happiness in a jar and loves me. It's rare to find such a person. But I've found him, and I don't want to let him go. Not anymore. Studying him now, he's aged beautifully. I can't help but run my fingers over his skin and see the pain he's had to settle in to as a result of me.

"I felt you." I whisper, as if it's a secret. Because once it all was. "And I saw somethin' that scared me so I ran. I wanted to say goodbye Thomas, I swear to you, I wanted so badly to hold you one last time and tell you I love you, but I knew you would have told me to stay." My head drops, a tear dancing down my cheek. "And I would have, because my love for you is infinitive and I'm powerless without you."