• THE ONE • A Thomas Shelby Fanfic •

C6 - The (a)Wake(ning)

My fathers funeral was hosted by the Shelby's. And by hosted, I mean paid for, by them. Arthur hugged me the second he saw me, a single tear wasn't shed.

"I'm so sorry for your loss, Bria." He mumbles into my hair. Holding me so close and tight. It's comforting. "Your father was a great part of our life, our city..."

Then came Linda, who whispered a prayer in my ear. She clutched the bible to her chest for dear life, and had a timid smile kept on her harmless face.

I was embraced by John, and his wife — who I knew very well. I remember Esme when she was wee. Cute thing she turned out to be.

There was Polly and her boy Michael as well. Who I had met in passing. He didn't say much to me, it was because his mind was occupied on business. Poor thing, he's too young to be stressing about such things. Especially after work hours.

I lick my lips as I took a drag of my smokes. Allowing it to take a toll on my nerves, fixing my mood, shifting my body from being so shaken up and exhausted to at ease. My fathers funeral went well, I guess. Everything went smoothly, he was respected, celebrated and sent back in a meaningful way.

The sun began to set, and the people who showed up to Thomas's house seemed to pile up. I stood outside on the balcony of one of Thomas's room.

I thought about the future, my Dad had put everything in my name which meant I was to either sell the house, his property and the animals or make a home here and move back to Birmingham. I didn't know what I was to do, and nothing could point me to the future.

I want you to be happy, my father had told me, and I want you to follow that happiness. Hold onto it.

But when I think about holding onto that happiness he spoke so fondly of, I think about holding Thomas's hand. Being in his arms, loving him. Being happy with him for the rest of our lives. He balances me, he makes me happy, he makes me feel sexy, heard, respected.

I don't want to fight this anymore. I want to allow myself to fall the way things are meant to be. I want to be held and hold him just as tightly. Never letting go. Not anymore.

But as he sat on my couch beside that woman, how could I not allow myself to pull back. Especially when she's his wife. She is his, and I still want to pursue him. A tear rolls down my cheek as I look up at the night sky. Oh dad.

"There you are."

I turn around and see Thomas. He looks handsome, in a suit that he loosened up. He stood beside me and looked over the balcony.

He gives my hand a squeeze, I meet his eyes and smile. "Hello."

"Hi." He studies me, taking a moment to get a good look at me before sighing. "You've been crying."

"What can I say," I whisper, shrugging my shoulders weakly. "I miss my dad."

He puts his hand around my back and pulls me into him. "Come off the balcony, it's cold isn't it?"

My body is in flames right now, I want to tell him, but instead, I shake my head and look up into the night sky. Where a particular star shines down at is, providing lots of light. I wonder if that's my dad, shining down on me. The dead aren't viewed the way the world views the death, to us, they're here with us always. And I feel my dad, he is here. I toss the smoke over the balcony and get lost in the stars that fill the night.

"What are you looking at?" He asks, turning to look up at the sky.

"The stars." I sniffle.

He points at the brightest one. "You see that one there?" Leaning in, Thomas snakes his arm around my waist, pulling me into him.

"Hmmm." I nod, resting my head on his chest. just like that, I'm under his spell.

"I look at that, and I see you. It's beaming, like you. So bright I could die right now and be at ease. It's unreal, mighty, like you. Out of all the stars in the universe, there's you."

I turn and meet his eyes. "Why do you do that?"

"Do what?" He whispers in my ear.

"Make me melt inside."

"Any chance I get to see you smile. Bria, I want to spend another day with you." He whispers, his hands now on my butt. "And then another and another. Until I end up having you in my life forever."

"Forever." I blush, grinning up at him.

"Forever." He brushes the back of his hand over my skin. "And I want to make you smile, forever."

"Oh Thomas..." I squirm inside.

"Now I hope you don't mind because that'll make you a Shelby, and I know how you feel about that."

"Oh?" I giggle, looking at his tie. I swallow, "and how do I feel about that, Mr. Shelby."

"Well you remember when you thought you were carrying my kid and I told youse you'd have to marry me. You remember what you said, Bria?"

I scoff, "I said like hell."

"That you did." He gloats, ducking his head down to kiss me passionately. I don't know what I'm doing, seeing as we're basically making out in his master bedroom. There is a high chance we could get caught. "This morning, I almost told Grace I want a divorce, Bria."

"Why didn't you?" I ask, my voice barely enough to be sound. "You can't have the both of us Tom-"

He tells me sternly, "Don't you think I know that?"

I press my lips together and take a step back. Wiping my lips, I push my fingers through my hair and sigh. Why have I done this again? Tortured myself for the second time.

As I approach the door, there is a knock on it that makes me freeze, her voice rings.

"Thomas," she tries to shake the doorknob open but it doesn't budge. "Darling, are you in there?"