• THE ONE • A Thomas Shelby Fanfic •

C7 - Stupid Me, Punish Me

Thomas is already holding my hand, pulling me towards a closet. He hurried me inside, like he's done this before. I want to protest, tell him I'd rather stay out on the balcony and freeze to death but he's already telling me shush with his finger over his mouth. He shuts the closet door, allowing a sliver of light to come through. I can see the bed, nothing more of the room. I step back into the empty closet, hoping it'll help disguise me.

I can hear him open the door, and I can hear her heels as she enters the room. I imagine she's looking around, searching for me. I stay quiet, holding my hands to my mouth.

"I thought I heard someone else." She begins, rather sneakily. I can feel her presence, she is insecure about her marriage. Scared of he impact that I have on her Thomas. That's been evident, seeing as she couldn't even look at me for more than a few seconds during my fathers funeral.

"No." He simply replies.

"Who is she to you?" Grace sits down on the bed, she leans into her palms and sits back. Her dress raises off of knees as she crosses them.

Thomas stands by the closet, he blocks my view. I am thankful, because I know what she's playing at. She finds him as desirable as I find him. She wants him, she wants all of him. And Thomas is smart enough to know he needs to give her what she wants, otherwise she'll suspect something.

"Bria?" Thomas asks. He lights a cigarette, "She's a good friend to the family. Her family's been good to us as well."

"Is that why you paid for the funeral, and hosted the wake? Because you were friends?"

He doesn't respond, but I assume he nods.

"Arthur told me everything, Thomas. That you two were young lovers. It was intoxicated, passionate. You were to marry her before she left in a panic!"

I hold my breath.

"Arthur," He sighs, and it drags out long. "Arthur seems to speak a lot with you around, Grace."

"Is it true, Tommy?" She snaps.

"Yes. I loved her once, she loved me."

"Why wouldn't you tell me?"

"What was I supposed to say? Beside all of that, she came for our wedding, nothin' more, ey," He leans off the closet and approaches his wife. "What do you want? Some sort of problem to erupt because of a woman who came to celebrate our wedding?"

"I just want to make sure we're communicating, Thomas."

"We're doing that now." He states, I watch as he sits down beside me, pushing his fingers through her hair. "She means nothing to me, Grace."

I swallow the pain in my heart as I witness her putting her arm around Thomas, she kisses him passionately. Thomas gives back a kiss, one that breaks them from sitting on the bed to laying down. I squeeze my eyes shut, tears rolling down my cheeks.

"I love you, Tommy." She whispers into his mouth. Her voice shaking around his heart.

"I love you too, Grace." He manages to rip mine out of my chest.

There's a different kind of torture that you go through hearing your lover, with someone else. It makes me sick, and I want to scream. To hear her voice, oozing with satisfaction. To hear him, calling her name.

But just like that, there's a knock on the door and pulls the happily married couple apart. I don't open my eyes, despite hearing his pants lift back up and her push her hair from her face. I don't open my eyes, as I remain in the dark set closet until in one whoosh, the closet door is opened and Thomas's blue eyes meet mine.

"I'm so-" He begins but I stumble out of the closet and hurry towards the door.

Tears race down my cheeks, as I race for the door. I twist the knob in a panic, there is an opening for me but before I can slip out, he slams the door shut.

I turn around and face him, my face wet with tears. He's hurt me so much, he needs to see this. "Let me go..." I whimper, as he pins me against the door.

"Bria.."

I lick my lips, watching his stained a beautiful blusher pink. Basking in his glory, Thomas's hair is a mess from her touching him. I nearly tear of my gloves, wanting to feel what he felt with her. But I'm afraid I'll only feel disappointment, because maybe she fucks him well and I merely do a good job.

I need a whiskey, or two. And I need to go home. Without thinking, I take off my glove and press it to his arm, he pulls back in shock and gasps. Fire erupted through his arm, trickling down to his finger tips. I was quick to snap it off, a warning to Tommy Shelby.

"I don't want anything to do with you anymore." I tell him rather factually. Setting this into his mind, he looks at me with anger in his eyes. I look down at my hand, that shakes uncontrollably.

"Why are you pushing me away?" He weakly asks, "Why?"

"Why?!" I ask, my chest rising and falling. "I told I'm in love with you, I-I thought-" Stupid me. Stupid me. Stupid fucking me.

I feel so pathetic crying before him, and for Tommy to look afraid of me only puts daggers in my heart. I hurt him, but I didn't mean to.

Mums voice comes to me, when she was teaching me of my abilities. Purposefully hurting me to see what I was capable of. Stupid me.

I reach for the doorknob and twist it, I hurry out of the room before he can say or do anything else.