Awoken

Earth

If you were here,
I'd never have a fear
So go on live your life
But I miss you more than I did yesterday
-

---

A month wasn't exactly a long time.

He knew that. He'd been through tough times before, too, like when his parents were brutally murdered by someone who turned out to be Steve fucking Roger's best mind-washed buddy. He'd gotten through that, hadn't he? Sure he turned to drinking and other... Ahem, questionable coping methods; but that's all irrelevant now. The point is that he was fine... ish after that and he should be now too.

Except he really, really wasn't okay.

Because it had been an entire month since the snap and they still didn't know what the hell to do about it. Because half the people on Earth literally turned to ash right in front of them and there was nothing they could do to save them.

One measly month isn't exactly a long time, but it felt like a million eternities of torture in hell. And then some.

They had to find out where Thanos was- that much was obvious. But then what? They just threaten him or beat the shit out of him until he brought back the people he'd killed like it was nothing? Yeah right, that was never gonna happen. Thanos probably didn't even know how to bring them back himself. They were gone- dead- dust and ashes. Even if they found Thanos they were probably never going to get back the people lost; and that was the truth that none of them wanted to accept. But he knew it was true. They had screwed up and that was that.

The first few days were surreal. They hadn't lost before. It wasn't supposed to happen, and some weeks later they still hadn't gotten over it.

But they'd lost everyone- he'd lost everyone. Why couldn't he have died instead? It was like the universe had some kind of cruel grudge against him, and it had to do everything it could- just to make his life as difficult as possible.

Why did the kid have to die-?

"Sir, most of the others have already gathered in the meeting room and are currently awaiting your arrival."

Thank god FRIDAY interrupted his thoughts before they got even worse.. He didn't really want to think about the snap and yet it plagued his mind like a virus he couldn't ever fix. Also, he'd honestly forgotten they were supposed to be meeting today. "Let them know I'll be there in five,"

Ever since Thanos, they'd all been living in the compound together. He'd joked a couple times that it was 'just like the good old days,' but the only reaction he'd gotten was a pitiful smile from Bruce and one of those 'This-is-not-the-time-Tony' looks from Steve.

They were all in the same building and yet the compound felt more empty and less like home than ever before. They were all incomplete, and it wasn't like they went about chatting gleefully as if nothing had ever gone wrong. Everyone wanted it to go back to 'The good old days.' They were half a team, and everybody was grieving and losing what little hope they had left.

The media called them the 'Survivors' or 'The Lucky Ones' who were going to make everything better, and it was only a matter of time before things went back to the way they were before. The media was wrong. But none of them were going to ruin any optimism left on this planet full of struggle and traumatized children who had watched their parents turn to dust right in front of them. Right now, the world needed any hope it could get. Regardless of how far fetched it seemed.

When Tony reached the meeting room, everyone looked just as dead inside as they had the last time he had seen them. Steve tried to be the face of hope and optimism, but here he was- sitting hunched over with his head lying loosely in his hands on the table.