Sex Education // Scorbus

Chapter 1 - Sex Ed

"I need you to teach your fifth years Sex Ed," Neville crossed his arms over his chest and Albus' mouth dropped.

"What? Sex Ed? When has that been a thing at Hogwarts?" Albus was beyond confused.

Neville shrugged, "McGonagall said that the Ministry is requiring us to teach it because there have been some complaints..."

"Complaints?" Albus rolled his eyes. "Why me though?"

"McGonagall asked me, but I figured you'd do a better job, plus I'm only really comfortable asking you to do it. Besides you're young, the kids don't want me, an old man, teaching them about... that," Neville justified.

Albus just shrugged, not denying it. "Fine, but I better be getting a little bit of a raise."

Neville chuckled, "Of course. I'll let McGonagall know that you took the offer and to give you the benefits instead."

Albus playfully punched his godfather's shoulder, "What? One free drink down at Broomsticks?" Albus headed towrds the door of Neville's office.

"Thank you!" Neville called after him. Albus held up his middle finger through the door as he pulled it shut behind him.

••••

The fifth year Slytherin and Ravenclaw students filtered into the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom to see Professor Malfoy and Professor Potter chatting. Potter was casually resting against his desk, while Malfoy stood squarely with his hands on his hips and his back to the door.

This wasn't unusual, the students knew that the two professors got along well and could usually be found chatting the other up in their classrooms during their breaks.

A few minutes had gone by and class should have started but Malfoy and Potter were still chatting.

"Professor Malfoy!" A Ravenclaw student shouted, making the young blond turn around and divert his attention from Albus.

"Yes?" Scorpius asked politely.

"You're taking away from our learning time by flirting with Professor Potter!" Jeremiah, the Ravenclaw, teased making some of the class erupt in giggles.

Scorpius stepped away from the desk and away from Albus as if her was heading towards the door. He pointed a finger at Jeremiah, "I haven't graded your History essay yet, I could give you a T!" he threatened jokingly.

"But Professor my essay writing skills and extensive knowledge on History are far too superior for me to get anything less than an O!" he retaliated.

"HA!" Scorpius snorted as he neared the door. Jeremiah often openly argued with Scorpius about how necessary taking History of Magic was to his future. It was a laugh for Scorpius. The kid was great but sometimes he couldn't keep up with his debative tendencies.

"Bye Professor," Scorpius waved as he stood in the door archway, "Good luck keeping these troublemakers corralled," he winked and slipped out the door.

"Honestly Professor," a Slytherin called Adeline spoke up, "When are you and Professor Malfoy going to become a thing? It's been years!" she sighed dramatically.

Albus rolled his eyes as he waved his wand to clear the chalkboard, "Adeline, it's not that simple. Do you want me to be honest with you?" he asked his students who all nodded enthusiastically. "Our relationship is strictly professional. Plus we've been acquaintances since school so it's weird to suddenly jump into a relationship now that we're adults and share a job."

"But you both are so flirty with each other! How can it be weird? You would be the ultimate power couple!" Jade, a Ravenclaw, exclaimed.

Albus sighed dramatically as he picked up a piece of chalk, "That's all our relationship will be, Jade, just flirting," he was thankful that none of them were close enough to recognize the blush on his cheeks. "It's how it's always been," he shrugged, turning his back to write on the board. "Anyways! Today we aren't going to focus on Defense Against the Dark Arts, we are going to be talking about sex." He wrote the three letter word up on the board in huge, bubbly handwriting.

The class started giggling and whispering among themselves. He spun around and placed his hands on his hips, "You think this is funny?" he asked and they calmed down, biting the insides of their cheeks.

"Sir, in all due respect," a small Ravenclaw boy spoke, his hand in the air, "How are you going to be able to teach us about... sex?"

Albus raised his eyebrow curiously, "What's that supposed to mean, Jonas?"

"Well," his face heated up, "You're gay... and most of us here, as far as I'm concerned, aren't."

"Ah," Albus nodded understandingly.

"Yeah, I'm sure you could help Henderson over there, but not us... If you've only had sex with another man I mean," Tamra, a Slytherin, responded bluntly.

"Well I was like you once, wasn't I?" he asked rhetorically, moving to sit down on top of his desk. "I grew up surrounded by straight people and I heard about all kinds of things. My parents gave me 'the talk', I watched porn with my friends. I know how things work between a male and a female, and just because I've never actually experienced it doesn't mean I can't teach it," Albus explained. "So you're saying, for example; because Scorpius- sorry, Professor Malfoy, didn't live through the first Wizarding War, he can't accurately teach you?" he asked and they were silent.

"Now, yes, I am at a bit of a disadvantage as a teacher, but I've got help from these outlined curriculum notes from McGonagall," he picked up a small folder and dropped it back down on his desk.

A blonde, frizzy haired Ravenclaw called Taryn raised her hand and Albus gave her a nod as permission to speak. "Sir, will you be teaching us about gay sex then since Henderson is here?"

Albus was a bit shocked by her question, but replied calmly, "Well, it'd be rude to not include him, but only if he wants me to. I wouldn't want to make him uncomfortable," he said honestly.

"How do two guys have sex anyways?" Glen, a Slytherin jock blurted.

Albus saw poor Henderson's face heat up in embarrassment, he hid his head in his arms that he'd crossed over the table.

"Well, if people are curious," Albus sighed, "I guess I will inform you." He decided, "Is that alright with you, Henderson?" The boy was still buried in his arms, but shrugged in response. Albus chuckled softly and hopped off his desk to walk to the board.