CNCO Imagines and Preferences

Just a Nightmare (Joel)

Yeah, I am publishing this chapter after I finished the book, but I am sure you don't mind me writing one more imagine 😉. I wrote it for my other book but I liked it so much that I had to put it in this book too. By the way you can check it out, it's called "Fandom/Crush Imagines".

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 I was sleeping peacefully when I felt something, or maybe someone, shaking, I woke up. It was my boyfriend, he has been having a lot of nightmares lately, and this was one more. The first time he had a nightmare like this, two weeks ago, when I awake him up he woke up with tears falling from his eyes and refused to talk to me. He didn't tell me what happened, he just told me to keep sleeping, I tried to convince him to talk about it the day after, but he said it was just a dream, nothing to worry about, and me, being as stupid as I am, believed him. But the problem is, he has been having these nightmares since that night, it never stopped. And guess what, when I try to talk to him about it he either says that he didn't had a nightmare the night before and says that everything is fine or changes the subject or gets angry and tells me that is none of my business or gets emotional and although he doesn't cry at first he puts a sad movie on the TV and then cries during the whole movie.

 He must think I am stupid or have a mental problems, because I can clearly see that he is not okay and that he is lying. It already had me worried sick in the first time but now, everyday he has a nightmare and although I don't know if it is the same or not, it is getting me really worried. He may not notice but this is also putting under a lot of stress, and I don't like to see my love sad either.

 And one more time, I woke him up.

 "Hey, Joel. Wake up my love" I said calmly while shaking his shoulder with my right hand. He woke up with a scared face. "Are you ok?" I asked him serenely.

 "Yeah. Sure. Just a bad dream" he yawned. But I could see in his face that he was lying.

 "Look, if you don't want to tell me, that's ok, just say so. But don't you dare lying to me saying that you are fine because I know it is not true. You have been having nightmares for two weeks straight and this is worrying me too. I am sick of pretending that you are okay, because you are not." I said and kept my voice in a peaceful tone although I had a serious face on. "I am here for you no matter what, for the good and the bad" I finished.

 "I am sorry, okay? It is not my fault I am having these nightmares!" he said angry, and almost screaming at me.

 "First, the nightmare is not you fault but the fact that you didn't told me anything is! Second, you have no right to be mad at me, I am here worried sick about you and you instead of telling me something about what has been disturbing you, you just avoid my questions and ignore me, it is like you think I don't care about you or that I am going to leave if you're weak, so let me tell you something, I LOVE YOU and I would never leave you alone, do you understand that? So stop being selfish, behave like the man you have age to be and tell me what is fucking wrong! " I said pissed  with tears falling down my cheeks.

 "MY FATHER USED TO BEAT ME, OKAY? HE BEATED UNTIL HIS LAST BREATH WHEN I WAS EIGHTEEN YEARS OLD, AND LATELY MY SUBCONSCIOUS HAS BEEN LOVING TO DREAM WITH THAT!" He said screaming. While he was speaking he started crying and then when he was finished he got out of our room and shut the door aggressively.

I can't believe myself, how could I be so ignorant? He wasn't okay and I almost shouted at him. I feel like a an idiot. I love him but I am  sure I hurted him with my selfish words, I was the one who had no right to be mad or angry. How can I be so incredibly stupid sometimes?

I layed in bed for a couple minutes to think about what had just happened and the best way to approach that situation.

 I got out of bed and opened the door slowly. I couldn't hear anything, so I went downstairs to look for him and as I stepped on one of the last steps of the stairs I heard crying coming from the bathroom. He probably went to this bathroom so I couldn't hear him from our bedroom, but there was no way I wouldn't look for him after an argument like that and his confession.