palpitations (phan)

fifteen

The week after Phil's fifteenth birthday, Dan had showed up on his doorstep with nothing but a backpack filled with clothes and a toothbrush, claiming only that his dad was gone and that no, he didn't want to fucking talk about it.

Of course, being his best friend and respecting his privacy, Phil didn't push it, only grabbing a spare sleeping bag and pillow from the storage closet and and laying them down on the floor beside his bed for himself. If Phil knew anything about Dan when he was upset, it was that a bad night's sleep was the very last thing he'd need, and that would be the final straw to send him over the edge.

Dan stayed with the Lester's for nearly two weeks, at first sleeping on Phil's bed while the latter slept rather uncomfortably on the carpet beside him, but then later on inviting him to sleep on the double bed with him.

In spite of the information Dan wasn't quite ready to disclose with Phil, Jenny and Kath had been in rather frequent contact, Kath spending nearly every evening drinking wine at the Howell's and even offering to stay for a while if that's what Jenny had needed.

Going along with what Dan had initially stated as he'd stormed into the Lester home two weeks prior, his dad had left, suddenly and out of nowhere, as he'd put it. Though according to Jenny, it had really been a long time coming. They'd been arguing a lot whenever Dan had been staying with Phil, which apparently had been a common occurrence ever since they'd moved into the new house four years ago.

Regardless of the details, Dan's dad was gone now, and neither Jenny nor Kath believed he'd be coming back anytime soon.

To make matters worse in the saddest of ways, Colin had passed away of old age in mid February. Dan had been devastated, perhaps even more so than when his father had left. His dad and him were never overly close, but Dan and Colin had formed a bond, the kind that was only ever found between a dog and their boy slave.

In the long run, even Phil was convinced that Colin's death was merely the rotten cherry on top of a bitter and distasteful ice-cream sundae.

In the six months following Mr Howell's departure from the neighborhood and Colin's departure from the world, Phil had been witness to many sides of Dan that he'd never even imagined were there, hidden. Dan had grown horrendously depressed, especially during the first two months, and even sporadically every now and again in smaller episodes since then.

Phil had known Dan for a whole four years –hell, he'd been Dan's best friend for four years without knowing that Dan was clinically depressed, and yet his obliviousness didn't stop it from being a fact. At first, Phil had wondered if that made him a bad friend, not knowing entirely of Dan's struggles, but in the end he knew it was much more important that he just be there for him in the moment instead of dwelling on the past.

Dan needed him then, and so he'd tried his very best to make his life as better as he possibly could. This in turn meant many sleepless nights spent chatting on the phone about feelings and issues, and sometimes even just random small talk. Sometimes Dan needed a makeshift therapist, but other times he just needed a friend.

Of course, Phil was willing to be either.

Just as the boys finished year ten, things were finally beginning to slow down a bit, and this time for the better, they hoped. Nothing was quite as good as it'd been the year before, but then again Phil doubted it might ever be.

On this particular July night, Dan was sprawled out on his bed, head hanging off the edge as he looked at Phil upside down. The latter was sat on the floor facing Dan with his legs crossed beneath himself.

"What are you looking at, Howell?" Phil asked playfully.

Dan smirked. "A rat named Phil."

Phil laughed, leaning back and steadying himself on the carpet behind himself with his hands. "That sounds like the name of a children's book," he mused.