Dipper Pine's Prophecy

4: Summer Romances (Part 1)

Dipper held his breath as he cowered against the rough bark of the pine tree he was hiding in, his eyes trained on the beast below him through the lower branches.

Don't look up, don't look up, don't look up. Oh my Gods, just go away and find something else to eat!

This was not how he wanted to be spending his free time. He just wanted to visit his old friend, the MultiBear, so why did he run into a Wendigo instead? Because Lady Luck and the Fates and everything else that had power over his mortal life hated him that's why.

Sure he knew how to kill this thing, but the most effective way was to burn it and his matches happened to be the one thing to fall out of his bag, because luck was not something he had in the slightest.

Why do you hate me universe? What did I ever do to deserve a lifetime of bad luck?

Was it the Yin and Yang thing he had with his twin? Where she was a bright star that shined brightly with loud colors and sparkles, happy and surrounded by entire masses of friends, he was a forgettable tree in the middle of this forest with muted colors and lonely isolation, no more memorable than tree he was currently hiding in. Sure this tree may save his life right now, but he knows for a fact that he will forget about it entirely by the end of summer, and even if he didn't, there would be no way he would ever be able to find this particular tree again if he tried. This was exactly how his sister and he were opposites, not only in personality, but in luck too. Mable would find five dollars in and old pair of jeans and Dipper would find an old milk carton spilt in his bag. She would get lost in the forest and a fairy would guide her back, but when he got lost and instead found a cannibalistic creature that had been human once upon a time, but would rather tear off his flesh than help him find his way home.

Dipper wanted to cry, not only was he moments away from being eaten alive, but where a normal person would think of all the reasons they would want to live, his brain would rather give him reason why dieing wouldn't be so bad. Maybe it was because he was constantly knocking on Death's front door and was use to the fact, but he only ever thought negative things when the reaper would yell 'Fuck off or I'll finish you off!', probably because his sister would think positive and laugh and yell back 'If you're hot, is fucking you an option?'. And yes, she would say that, she took flirting with death to a whole new level.

Barely audible snarling and the retreating rustling of leaves brought him out of his thoughts, the Wendigo was leaving! He mentally thanked whatever entity that took pity on him that Ford had taught him a spell that hid his scent from all creatures inside the forest, because without it, the cannibal would have sniffed him out and killed him before he even had the chance to think about hiding in a tree.

He waited another good half an hour before he decided to start climbing down, he would have prefered to wait a couple more hours instead, but he had to make it back to the Shack in time for his shift, so he was willing to take the risk. Stan was insufferable if you were late to work and he wouldn't take 'precautions to survive' as an excuse, if he didn't make it back on time, he might as well have been eaten, his Grunkle might allow that excuse. Maybe, if he was in a good mood.

Once he made it to the lowest branch, he started to loop his belt around the trunk so he could shimmy down just like Wendy taught him all those years ago, but before he could, he heard rustling below him again. Not even bothering to waste time by looking down, he tries to scramble back up a couple branches so he could once again conceal himself with a few layers of pine needles. Keyword, tries.

Instead, he finds himself slipping and letting out a (very manly) squeak as he falls off it. He prepared himself in those next few seconds for a very painful impact with the ground and death by monster, but before either could happen, he felt two muscular arms catch him and heard the accompanied grunt of stain with said catch. This took Dipper off guard, especially since the grunt sounded very human.