"Do you ever..." I begin later that night, when everyone else is asleep, when it's just us awake, "do you ever wish you hadn't chosen Dauntless?"
"Sometimes," Will nods in agreement, looking away from me and staring at nothing instead, like he always does when he's deep in thought, or about to admit something he's afraid to admit. "But then... I think that if I'd stayed in Erudite, I never would have met you," as he says it, he takes my hand and looks at me again with a sad smile. "And if I hadn't chosen Dauntless and you had, who would've saved you?"
I study him as well as I can in the darkness, and I can tell that what he said is the truth. But I can also tell that there's something else. Something he's holding back.
"There's something you're not telling me. What is it?"
"It's.... its nothing," he insists, but he avoids my gaze and presses his lips together. He's lying. I can tell.
"Come on," I move closer to him and hold his hand tighter. "You can tell me."
"It's just... I hated it there. In Erudite. It wasn't like I didn't fit in or anything. I was just like everyone else. I don't even know why I hated it so much," his voice is growing thick, like he's about to cry, and in an attempt to comfort him I rest my head on his shoulder and wrap my free arm around his waist. He rests his head against mine and sighs. "It was just... horrible. I didn't really have anyone there, except my sister. I just wanted to get away. But... I guess I messed everything up, didn't I?"
"Do you wish you hadn't saved me?"
"No. Oh god, no. I'm glad I saved you. If I had to relive it, I'd still save you. I'd save you every time. I just.. I've messed everything up. For you as well," he sobs, hides his face in my hair. "I'm sorry."
I drop his hand to wrap my arms around his neck tightly.
"Don't be sorry. You saved my life. I'm never gonna be able to repay you for that. I don't mind that we're here, Will," I pull away slightly and wipe the tears from his cheeks. "We're together. That's all that matters."
He looks at me for a long while, and then pulls me even closer to him, and his lips press against mine ever so gently, and just for a moment, but it still manages to warm me inside, and I feel as though someone's reached into my chest and given my heart a static electric shock. His head falls forward, his forehead resting against mine, as he pulls away, his hands dropping to hold mine.
"You're right," he whispers, "we're together. And that is all that matters."
I'm completely speechless. I've imagined this moment so many times, and it was so, so much better than I ever expected.
I look into his eyes for a while, and then press my lips against his in return. This time, he kisses me back, his hand tangling in my hair.
"Would it be ridiculous to say that I think I might be in love with you?" Will asks softly, moving away slightly.
"No... but only because I think I might be in love with you too."
"I guess that means I'm not completely crazy, then."
I lean against him and close my eyes.
***
"You feeling better?" I ask Will the next morning, once we're both awake. "You were pretty upset last night."
"I'm fine," he promises, kissing my forehead gently.
"You never told me any of that stuff," I say quietly, "about... about Erudite. I always thought you were happy there."
"I never told anyone. I guess I thought that if I didn't tell anyone, I'd forget about it. But... I was wrong. Thank you... for letting me talk about it. It really helped."
"It's okay. You can talk to me about it anytime. You can talk to me about anything anytime."
He nods and wraps his arms around my waist, and I slide mine around his neck in response, pulling him closely to me and burying my head in his shoulder.
"And you can talk to me about anything anytime as well, okay?"
"Promise?"
"Promise."
A/N; So this is a shorter chapter but I was struggling with it to be honest. Anyway. Two chapters in one day :o and if you hadn't guessed, each chapter's gonna end in the same way.
