The Shapeshifter (Avengers Fanfiction)

I Can't Say Goodbye

"No. No I'm not. I can't be? This is... oh God..." I didn't know what to say. I walked out and sat down at a table. Lilly followed and put her hand on my shoulder, "Hey, it will be okay."

I couldn't find my voice. I couldn't find my thoughts. All I could find was the tears that started rolling down my cheeks. I covered my forehead with my hand and looked down, "Lilly," I found my words once again, "I... what am I going to do? Steve is gonna hate me." 

"He won't hate you Emily! This isn't your fault." Lilly sat down across from me and took my hand. I wiped my eyes and rubbed my hand through my hair, taking a deep breath. "How can I even tell him? I can't. How do I even know how long I've been..." I trailed off and looked out the window. The cars drove by and the people walked passed, just as if it was another ordinary day.

"Just remember Em, you won't be alone in this."

"Steve's going to leave me. I'm going to be completely alone Lilly." I turned to her and tried to keep myself from bursting into tears. "We've only been together for like four months. He's not going to want to raise a child with me. He's a superhero."

"Emily, he-"

"Let's talk about this later." I cut her off and just wanted to forget about all of this, "It's time to open soon. C'mon." I stood up and wiped the hair from my face. Acting completely calm, I walked over to behind the counter and saw that Chloe and Jake had just arrived. They were the two other workers that Lilly hired while I was out. They were super nice and I loved them both. 

"Emily? Were you crying?" Jake took off his light jacket and walked up and set his hands on either side of my shoulders. I looked anywhere but at him, "No, no I just... I had something in my eye and..."

"Mmmhmmm.. fine don't tell me."

Thank God Jake isn't too pushy.

After everything was finished, we ended up opening a half hour late. 

The morning went by fairly quick and I tried to keep myself busy with the orders and not the baby. Oh God, just saying, the baby...

Late afternoon, around two hours before we closed, Lilly made an announcement to us, "Alright guys, Emily is going home early today, she has things to take care of."

When I heard her say this, I immediately wanted to protest against it but I knew it wasn't worth it, knowing I wouldn't win the argument. Instead, I faked a bright smile and agreed, "Yeah, sorry guys, I just have to go do this... thing." I realized that my lying skills weren't as great as Lilly's but I managed.

I got my stuff and said goodbye to everyone. I was certainly not looking forward to any of this. Steve probably wouldn't even be home right now. As I got in my car, I realized I was wrong when I received  text from him,

"Hey Em, I got home from Shield early today. I'll see you when you get home and I made a doctors appointment for you tomorrow."

God it sounded like a text from my mom, but it was sweet. Shit, the doctors appointment... I forgot about that. I started the car and then made my way to our apartment. 

When I arrived, I walked up and stood outside the door for a few moments. I took a deep breath and grasped the handle. I opened it slowly and walked in. "Steve?" I asked as I put down my keys. 

He walked out and I saw him with a cup of coffee in his hand, "Hey."

His voice was soft and gentle, "Lilly called and told me." 

My heart froze. "What? She... she told you? What did she tell you? How much did she say? What do you mean she told you? I can't-"

"Emily?" Steve interrupted, "She just called and told me you were coming home early."

Dammit... why did I do that...

"Oh, haha, right. Yup! Here I am." I smiled with relief but yet the fear was still deep inside of me. "Why are you acting so paranoid?" Steve asked, "Is everything okay?" 

"Me? Oh yeah everything is fine." I said it so quick I wasn't even sure if he could understand the last of it. I saw his confused expression and I knew he knew I was hiding something. Why did this happen to me? Why. Things were going fine and then this happens. "What is it? You can tell me." he walked closer to me.

The thoughts went through my mind of raising a child alone. I could... no I have to keep the baby. I couldn't give it up. Especially knowing now that he or she would have some messed up genes. With me shapeshifting and Steve's super serum. But I couldn't leave Steve. Not yet. I wanted at least a few more months together. Before I start showing. After that, then I'll tell him. That way I can prepare myself for the final goodbye.

"No it's really nothing." I calmed down a bit, feeling my stomach starting to hurt again. I was actually glad that it was hurting because it gave me an excuse to get out of this situation. "I don't feel so good. That's why I came home." 

"Does your stomach hurt again? Do you need anything?" 

I nodded and started walking to the bathroom. I've picked up on just automatically going to the bathroom right when the stomach aches start.

 Steve followed but I told him I was fine.

-

The next morning I didn't go to work. Lilly had called and asked if I had told Steve. "No... not yet. He.. he said he's taking me to the hospital today! What do I do?" I asked her through the phone. "God Emily, you need to be honest with him. That's all I'm going to say." Lilly replied. Oh God... I can't tell him yet. "No, I'll just tell him I'm feeling better and then cancel the appointment. Okay I gotta go, bye." I hung up and set my phone down. Lilly was all for this honesty thing but I just wanted some more time.

"Hey, who was that?" Steve walked in as I sat up in bed. 

"Oh it was Lilly, just calling to say that she's giving me the day off." I smiled.

"Well that's nice of her." Steve replied as he sat down next to me. "We have to leave in about an hour." he added. I looked at him, "Oh, actually I'm feeling a lot better. You can cancel that stupid appointment." I tried to pull it off as convincingly as I could. I saw him raise his eyebrows, "You expect me to believe that? Ah, no. Go on, get ready. I actually got Bruce to just do a quick checkup on you. So it will be fine."

Shit.

"No really, just call Bruce and tell him... just tell him I'm better." 

"Nope. Bruce can be the one to tell me you're better." 

Damn, he really loved winning arguments. He kissed my cheek and then got up and walked out. Oh God... he's going to find out. I'm going to have to say goodbye.

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AUTHOR'S NOTE

asjfdkhaf I haTe school.

anywayss... so, how do you feel about adding the pregnancy stuff? yay or nay?

in my opinion I like it but I want to know if you guys like it or not.

there is gonna be so much stuff happening with her being under a Loki spell and being prego...

well okay well sorry that took awhile to update...

love ya

(Comment&Vote)

<3