Saudade // ashton irwin au

1

Some days I don’t sleep. Some days I don’t eat. Some days I don’t do anything at all.

Life without Ashton was hard. It was a constant struggle for me. I always found myself crying, I always felt like I wanted to die. I had grown way too attached to Ashton in the little time that I knew him before he was gone.

I wouldn’t have actually said little time, but now it kind of felt like it was such little time. I wish I would’ve gotten to know him better before he left me.

I don’t even try to contact the boys anymore. None of them. The last time we spoke, we promised each other to just forget about the summer time and what all happened. We all figured it’d be best if we did.

But I couldn’t let go.

Just because I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to let go of Ashton and the feelings he made me feel.

I didn’t want to forget about his laugh, or even the way he made me laugh.

I didn’t want to forget about the way that my fingers could slip so easily through his hair whenever I wanted to. I didn’t wanna forget the way we held hands and hugged and kissed.

I didn’t want to forget anything like that all.

I couldn’t forget Ashton.

And I wasn’t going to try to.

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chapters are going to be really short x