Over The Rainbow

Chapter 9: Smile

*Terrence's POV*

-Funeral Day-

I stepped out the family limo at the church with tears streaming down my face. Twan was caressing my back to make sure I felt his love , and concern for me. This journey is about to be a hard one, and lord knows I'm going to miss my mother.

This shouldn't have been this way. I'm scared because I've been having mixed feelings at this point because I want to blame Antwan , but I can't do that because it would be so wrong, but you have to really look. I was perfectly fine before he came around.

I don't know what to do or what's real anymore. We intertwined fingers, as we walked up to the church. I could feel people staring at me, and him. I seen one of my homeboys there , and I immediately let go of Antwan's hand. He looked confused , and mumbled to me " are you good?"

I gave a fake smile "yes I'm good." We entered the church , and that's when it really hit me. She's gone , and she is never coming back. I was next in line to view her body at the casket , and I was so scared to see her.

*Play Song Here*

I walked up with twan beside me. I placed my hands on the casket rails. Tears became pouring down my face , and I couldn't contain myself. I yelled out. " Mommy !! Please come back to me..." I shouted out again " I just wanted to be happy mom .. Please come back to me."

I didn't know what to do at this point . I sat there and laid my head on twans shoulder and he threw his arm around me. My dad came up and him and twan guided me to my seat and they just held me throughout the whole service. My damn whispered " son I know how you feeling right now.. But please make the right choice. Twan loves you. That's all imma say my son."

-After the funeral-

I was sitting at the table. Twan came up and caressed my back. I sorta jerked away from him. He gave me a stare and blurted out in front on my dad. " Terrence I'm trying to be Here for you .. What's wrong what did I do wrong. " I looked up and rolled my eyes and replied. "Twan not now damn .. You already caused enough."

I looked surprised at everyone because I thought I said that last in my head, but evidentially I didn't. I looked back up at him and saw his eyes water up and he started playing with his nails. He replied with a soft shaky tone " you think this is my fault don't you..." He said holding his head down not looking up at me.

" oh god no twan... I.." I was speechless. I just hurt him. How could I think a man that loves me so much is the cause of my mothers death. "Its fineee.. I get it..." Twan said with tears running down his face. He turned to my father and said " I thank you so much for all you've done for me but I'll be going now.

Twan rushed out the door. I ran behind him yelling " Team pleasseee.. Don't leave me... I can't lose you too." He bawled out replying " I can't live here with you thinking this is my fault I have to go now . " he got in the car and drove off, and just like that I felt once again my heart is being ripped from my chest.

I hurt the man I love. I never meant to make him feel that way, but there is nothing I can say to bring him back to me. My dad walked outside placing his hand on my shoulder " son I wish you would've have just talked to us.. Or at least me."

I fell to my knees and started sobbing. " daddy when am I going to get to smile?  Huh when is it gone be my turn to be happy?" My dadd was speechless and all he could do was cry. I just want a break and it does not seem like I'm gone get one. My chest hurts a lot at this point.

I ran in the house to my bathroom. I shut the doo. I looked in the mirror and spoke to myself " what's wrong with you.. That man loves you.. Don't you dare take your pain out on him. Hold your head up, breathe, and smile. Your going to get through this.."

I slowly felt myself began to smile. I started laughing " boy go get your man" I looked back at my daddy and he smiled at me. " I love you son ... But Antwan loves you alottt." He smiled and replied. " now go get him."

I love my daddy so much he understands me and he tells me the truth when I need. Now I have to go get my man. I ran out the bathroom and too the door. I opened the door and Antwan was already standing there looking Me in my eyes. " I can't leave you man... I just can't. " he said smiling.

I missed him while holding him. "Never let me go I don't care how much I tell you to leave , you better not." He smirked at me and we walked in the house and my dad looked at us and shook his head and laughed. "You too good now?" We both chuckled and I replied. "We are and we always will be good and that's on me."

I kissed Antwan and my dad looked and replied " alright back to your corners." He said stepping between us wrapping his arms around our shoulders. "Now what you niglets want to eat?"  Antwan replied " dad I wanna take all of us out if that's fine with y'all." Me and my dad nodded okay and we went to get ready.

"I love y'all , we gone get through this I promise." Antwan said shutting the door.