FIA- F1 Spy AU

Kevin

He punched the sand bag again. He'd been here for what seemed like hours. When he'd first arrive in the training room, most of the other agents were there but now they'd left. The drops of sweat falling from his forehead blinded him but it wasn't enough to stop him. He kept on punching the bag, no matter how sore his muscles felt. The first trace of blood appeared. His knuckles were bleeding. But he didn't care. He needed to evacuate his anger.

He'd been reprimanded again. According to the team bosses, he couldn't talk like he did on the radio. He had to be respectful and nice. He was tired of it. Tired of how the higher authorities were always trying to mute them, to transform them into perfect little soldiers who never give their opinion. But he wouldn't leave the Agency. It was too important.

"You should sleep Kevin."

The Dane turned around swiftly. Jenson was leaning against the wall, his arms crossed on his chest. He was smiling. Kevin glanced at him before turning around and doing the exact same moves he'd done over and over again since he arrived, ignoring the Brit. 

"I'm not joking. You've been here for a while."

"Just leave me alone, Jenson." Kevin seethed.

"You're always alone." Pointed the Brit.

"Maybe that's because...I don't like... any of you." He said between deep breaths.

"Or maybe there's something else."

"You can drop the act. You trained me, you know my file. You know why I'm here."

"I do." Jenson agreed before walking to him. "But you never talked about it."

"There's nothing to talk about." Kevin answered through gritted teeth.

"Of course there is." Jenson caught the Dane's wrist before he could punch the bag again. "There has to be a reason why you spend hours here, hurting yourself." He looked at his bloodied knuckles. "I know it's not the first time. It's been going on for years. But I can't let you do that anymore."

"Why?" Kevin shouted, shaking his hand out of Jenson's grip and turning his back to him.

"Because I'm worried."

"Worried about me?" Kevin chuckled. "Worried that I'll turn crazy during a mission and fuck everything up? Worried that I won't obey like the good little soldier that they want me to be?"

"No." Jenson rested his hand on Kevin's shoulder and turned him around. "I'm worried you'll really hurt yourself. I'm worried you'll get lost somewhere in your own mind and won't be able to come back." He looked deep in his blue eyes. There was a hint of pain there that never seemed to go away. "You can talk to me."

"You wouldn't understand." Kevin shrugged him away and went to collect his stuff.

"My father died a few years ago. It's been hard. I wish someone was there to listen to me at that time."

Kevin turned around slowly. Jenson wasn't smiling. He was looking at him intensely.

"It was 9 years ago..." Kevin started, sliding against the wall and sitting on the floor.

A few seconds later, Jenson was sitting next to him.

"We were on a beach in Florida with my family. It was our last holidays with my sister before she left for college." He stopped and took a deep breath. He'd never talked about it, not even to the psychologist his parents forced him to see. "It was just a normal day, playing in the sea, eating ice cream. My parents had stayed in the villa. I'd forgotten my sunglasses in the car so I went to get them and my sister stayed on the beach to watch our stuff. When I came back, everyone was running, screaming, falling. There was a group of terrorists shooting the crowd on the beach. I tried to get to my sister but the stream of people kept pushing me away."

He stopped for a second, trying his best to hold back the tears. But he'd never talked about it and now, he was reliving it and all the emotions of the moment came flooding in his mind. He couldn't stop the wave of feelings he'd been holding back for all those years.

"I saw her. She was trying to leave. She was holding my sketchbook. Must have looked for it before leaving. She knew it contained my whole life and she risked her life to get it. I was almost there when the guy shot her. Square in the chest. There was nothing I could do. When I got to her, it was too late. I fell next to her and the guy just laughed at me before shooting someone else."

Jenson wrapped his arm around Kevin's shoulders to sooth him. The Dane let his head fall on Jenson's shoulder and closed his eyes. The tears were still running on his cheeks. He took a shaking breath before finishing the story.

"I had to call my parents. Tell them that their daughter had died. That for some shitty reason, some guys had shooted random people including her. She was amazing, clever, funny, beautiful. She wanted to help save humanity. She wanted to do research about cancer. She could have been the one to find how to stop it. But some guy decided she had to die and she never accomplished her dream. My parents never truly recovered from the loss and neither did I." He almost shouted between the tears.

Jenson pulled him closer.

"It's okay to cry." He whispered gently.

Kevin nodded and wiped his cheek, only to let fresh tears wet them again. He'd hold them back for so long he wasn't really surprised they kept on falling that evening.

"This is why I trained so hard to join the FIA. I want to avenge her. I want to stop every terrorist, random guy before they shoot innocent people and ruin lives like they ruined my sister's one. I don't want to see anymore broken families over some terrorist attack."

Jenson just hold him for a while. He let him cry for as long as he needed. When, eventually, he calmed down, Jenson let him go.

"What was her name?" He asked softly.

"Astrid. She was 2 years older than me."

"So she'd be 28?"

Kevin nodded.

"I bet she's proud of you. You already helped saving so many lives! You saved the President only yesterday."

"I didn't do anything." Kevin chuckled. "I just talked to them and the others did everything."

"But without you they wouldn't have known about it. If you weren't there to make sure everything is okay regarding communications, we wouldn't be able to do anything." Jenson added.

Kevin nodded softly.

"Thank you." He said, looking up into Jenson's eyes.

"What for?"

"For listening to me, for not thinking I'm crazy. For supporting me and letting me know I'm not alone." He shrugged.

"It's okay. If you ever want to talk just come to me. I'll find time for you." Jenson said with a smile.

Kevin stepped closer and hugged him tightly. Jenson hugged him back. When he let go, he nodded encouragingly. As Kevin left the training room, the Brit smiled softly. They were all so similar in the end.