The Neon God

VI

But might this fate avoided be,

If you'd come along with me

To break the chains of our existence

So we'd stop with our subsistence

On this mush which never satisfies.

You can't deny

The madness of the silence.

Throughout Christmas break almost all I could think about was the impending date with Liz. I was freaking out about the timing and the places and the transportation and the cost for most of what was supposed to be relaxing vacation time. Don't get me wrong, I still had plenty of time to enjoy myself and game with both Liz and the Electric Sheep, but the specter of the date hung over me through it all. By the time that Friday, January 8, rolled around I was once again almost incapable of functioning. It took most of the willpower I had to make myself get out of bed in the morning, and I didn't even consider having a meal the whole day. In the little I was able to make myself talk to Liz I could tell she was dealing with something similar. At any time either of us could have said we couldn't go through with our plans for the evening, but we both had the resolve to fight on.

We had agreed to meet by the elevator at 3:00 PM so we could have time to get to both the puppies and the gaming store with plenty of time to spare to get to the arena for the hockey game. Most of my body was visibly shaking and sweating bullets as I put on my jersey, said a prayer, hugged my parents, and stepped out our door. On at least two occasions on the way to the elevator I was afraid I'd have to turn around and go back to my room to vomit, but somehow I was able to will myself out of it. As I rounded the corner to the elevators I saw Liz in a very similar state. Despite both of our obvious anxious pain we smiled at each other as she ran the rest of the way to me and nearly tackled me with a hug.

"Y-you know, we can probably do this in the elevator," I squeaked.

"Ok," blushed Liz as she pressed the down button.

We fell into awkward silence as the elevator told us in its feminine robotic voice that it would be there in fifteen seconds. Only when the doors opened and we stepped in was the awkward silence transformed into a better kind of silence as Liz and I embraced again. There we stood, wrapped in each other's arms as the elevator counted down the floors until we hit the lobby. Almost reluctantly we let go of each other. I decided it was time for me to take a risk as I took my clammy hand and took her equally clammy hand with it. We each gave a squeeze as if to say to each other, "I'm here for you. There's no need to be afraid."

All that remained to be done was to convince ourselves that was the truth.

We kept our hands interlinked as we walked down the street to the pet shop. It wasn't terribly crowded, but we weren't expecting it to be on a mid-Friday afternoon so soon after Christmas. In fact, the only other person in the store at the time was the older woman who owned the place.

"Now what can I do for you two lovebirds?" she croaked with a smile. Liz and I immediately let our hands drop and our faces went red.

"W-we were w-wondering if we could play with some of your puppies," I stammered.

"You sound like you need it. Come with me, I know just the one." She gestured at us to follow her down a short hallway that contained little cells where people who either wanted to think about adopting one of the puppies or just needed to play with one for a little while could do so at no charge for as long as they wanted or needed. She opened up the one closest to the main area of the store and told us to sit on the couch and wait while she retrieved the puppy. Liz and I didn't really do anything other than share a few cursory glances and quick-shot smiles before she came back with a small pet carrier covered in a baby blue blanket.