The Killer's Life (A Jeff the Killer Story)

Killing 101

Getting up at 7 in the morning to teach Jeff how to fight correctly wasn't on my agenda for the day, but there I was, yawning and feeling completely miserable. Slender had told me that he was going to be training Jeff but I had no idea I was going to be involved. Safe to say I wasn't exactly happy about the predicament. But, on a happier note, Jeff seemed pretty miserable too, having been awoken from his first nap since he got there. I could assume the contacts/eyelids worked perfectly. Yay.

We continued to stand there and wait for Slender to come back from doing whatever it is he does. I leaned back against a tree trunk and slid down the bark, bored out of my mind. I remember having to do this when I first started off and while it was fun and exciting then, having to do for the newbies is always boring. I guess you could say it loses its excitement the more and more you have of it.

With a barely stifled yawn, I looked around the clearing as my eyes watered. The good thing about picking a cabin in the forest of we can do pretty much whatever we want out here without fear of those other pesky humans getting in the way. It would be really bad if we were training and suddenly a human walks by and sees everything because of course they would run away screaming and go to the police and then the police would come and it just becomes a huge mess. Though, thanks to Slender, we don't really have to worry about that as much as others might have to. Score one for Team Slender.

A slight popping noise was the sound that gave him away. Jeff, who was standing with his back to me, didn't hear the noise that signaled Slender's arrival so he got the scare of his life when good ol' Slender popped out of thin air behind him.

"Let's begin," Slender started.

Jeff, being the idiot he is, jumped the feet into the air and turned around with such force, he almost fell back to the ground. "What the fuck? How did you get behind me?"

Slender, being the wise and caring leader he was, ignored him and stepped to the side where he could see both of us. Behind him, I noticed a familiar box and raised an eyebrow. I assumed despite his urging that Jeff was 'advanced,' he was still going to train him the way he trained us.

I had fond memories of that box. I'm sure every trainee does. On the first official day of your training, you have to decide who you are. There are different types of CreepyPastas. There are some who go out to kill, some who just scare people, some who haunt people, some who need to be passed around by people, some who haunt video games and, last but not least, some who simply run errands. It was a huge operation that is loosely run by Slender and occasionally Zalgo would step in to supervise. One of the best things about Slender running the whole thing was that he was one of the few who survived Zalgo, he was one of the oldest CP's and lastly he could teleport, which I thought was the coolest thing ever.

Being taught by Slender was the highest honor. Most of the time, people were sent along to others who had already been trained. Proxies were different; we had to be trained by him. Otherwise, I would have been passed down to one of the others. Probably to Eyeless Jack. So, in the end, being a proxy was good since we got taught by the best of the best. Learning with Slender is the best way to go because of his training to 'find your inner pasta.'

When I first started, Slender told me that I was the strangest CP he's ever had the privilege to train. The reason for that was because I already knew who I was and I didn't use weapons; I used chemicals. According to him, I was the first to think scientifically about killing. The others just did it for the blood lust or just to get some twisted satisfaction from it, while I killed to watch and record how the human body responds to different chemicals. I was like the science part of killing.

Since I was so strange, I had to be taught differently. I didn't get the chance to go through the box of weapons like everyone else. Being who I was, I used different weapons each time I killed, unlike some people I knew. But, it should be interesting enough to watch Jeff train.