Boys Will Be Boys (discontinued)

Chapter Two

"Kieran? Honey? When does your sleepover start?"

"Mum, it's not a sleepover, its like..." I grimaced trying to find a cooler word, "A nocturnal hang out"

"Oh okay, my bad dear"

I chuckled to myself as my mother clucked around trying to clean up the house. Whereas I normally didn't give a shit about my home's state of affairs, Mum demanded that the only way anyone ever see it was clean. She was a stickler for tidiness -- hence, why it blew my mind that she became a preschool teacher. But, her patience knew no bounds, so I guessed it made sense.

And no child could be harder to handle than me anyways. 10 preschoolers was like a vacation for her.

"Have you finished with the vacuum?" I heard her gentle voice filter up the stairs.

I looked around my room, which only had one big rug to vacuum.

"Yeah, I'm all done here Mum"

I unplugged the vacuum and hefted it down the stairs, going down the next flight to the main level. My room was actually the attic, so I wasn't sure if I could say our house had three levels, but it was whatever. My dad was the one paying for all this anyways: the only good thing the fucker ever did. Shoving the vacuum into the cleaning supplies/ laundry room I rejoined my Mum in the kitchen. I recognised the pizza rolls on the table and smiled.

"Mum, it's okay, I can just order in pizza or Chinese or something"

"Oh, sorry dear, I'll just--" My Mum picked up the plate of pizza rolls and walked over to the trash.

"--No! No, Mum. It's fine." I whisked them away from her hand, protectively placing them on the island behind me.

"Are you sure dear? You don't have to eat them" My Mum smiled weakly at me before reaching into her apron pocket. She pulled out a one dollar bill and tried giving it to me.

"Buy you and your friends something nice Kieran"

"Mum, first off that's a one-dollar bill, and second off," I smiled as the realization dawned on her face. Blushing, she crumpled up the bill and shoved it back into her apron pocket.

"We love pizza rolls, thank you"

She smiled at that, her beautiful beaming smile that showed all her teeth. She pecked me on the forehead, not a hard stretch for her since she was around my height. Mum was a right angel when it came to her job, she knew just what to do, but at home she was at a loss. She had no idea how to pay the bills, fix the leaky sink, or how to cook anything but pizza rolls and ramen. So those became my jobs.

"Of course honey, you have a good night!"

"We will Mum, you have fun on your ladies' night thing"

My Mum giggled, pinching my cheek before going up the stairs to get ready. I pulled out my wallet and flipped through my cash. I had the luxurious grand total of 50 bucks, probably only enough for two large pizzas and a liter of Mountain Dew. If the guys had any sense they would bring their own snacks, I wasn't about to shell out my emergency money on their asses.

I heard the front door creak and hastily made my way over, grabbing a pizza roll on the way. I bite into it as the door opened, only to open it as it proceeded to burn my mouth. I chewed it open-mouthed, grimacing from the heat before swallowing it.

"Fuck"

"Aw, burned your tongue? Am I just that hot?" DJ sauntered in, carrying what seemed to be a giant Costco-travel-cooler behind him. I had no doubt it was filled with alcohol, but shit that thing was huge. Marco followed behind him (they always carpooled) carrying a few plastic bags filled with various Doritos and Lays chips.

"Yo, I got the goods" Marco raised his arms to juggle the bags before making his way to the kitchen.

DJ rolled his eyes before following him, "No, I got the goods -- the good stuff anyways"

"Where's--" I began, my mouthful with the now slightly-cooler pizza rolls.

"Lukas? He's coming, don't worry your sweet-ass, wifey"

I scowled but said nothing as I closed the door. Walking into the kitchen, I cleared off the counter to make place for the chips next to the pizza rolls. DJ quickly opened his cooler and pulled out a liter of Sprite before shutting the lid to the cooler. I shot him a grateful smile as I heard my Mum come down the stairs. My Mum was loving and accepting, but if she knew half the things I did she would have a heart-attack -- drinking especially.

DJ and Marco went out into the hall to greet my Mum as I heard the doorbell buzz. I rolled my eyes, there was only one person formal enough to ring the doorbell in my friend group. Roger Lee. What a dick. A gentlemanly dick albeit.

"Lee, dickass, I told you not to ring the doorbell"

"Kieran, shithead, I told you not to ask me to not ring the doorbell"

I let him pass, not before roughly hitting his shoulder with my own. He laughed at my childishness before joining DJ and Marco at the foot of the stairs.

"Woah, Ms. Mogan, woah" The ever-intelligent Marco stuttered as my Mum made her way down the stairs.

She was done up real nice, her dark-brown-nearly-black hair loose in her short haircut, blue eyes flaring and surrounded by the black-shit girls and emos line their eyes with. But she made it look nice -- elegant even. She was wearing one of her sweater dresses with black pants and boots. My mom was a thin lady, always cold, so she always wore sweater dresses to stay warm.

"Mama Mogan, you look amazing" DJ grinned and helped her down the last step, towering over her with a blinding grin. She reciprocated and went around to hug each one of them.

"Ms. Mogan you look gorgeous" Roger kissed her hand with a roguish smile and she laughed, swatting him away slightly.

Did it bother me that my friends flirted with my Mum? Yes. But I knew they would never make a move on her, or I'd castrate them with one of her rusty garden spades.

"How many times have I told you boys to call me Caoimhe?"

They just laughed and my Mum finally made her way over to me.

"You look great Mum" I said honestly. She just smiled before kissing my cheek.

"Keep the house clean boys!"

She walked out the door and I heard the car start. She drove a great big hippie-van nearly everywhere she went, but today she was going to catch a train to the city instead. I had offered to drop her off but she had declined, insisting that I make the most of my childhood or something.

"Alrighty, let's get this party started dudes" Marco ran to the cooler and cracked it open, passing the Coronas around to our awaiting hands.

"I wonder what's holding Schmitt up" I voiced my thoughts out loud, taking a deep sip from my bottle. Roger tore the bag of chips open as DJ rolled his eyes.

"Jesus, Mogan, you could at least pretend you like us"

"Haha" I deadpanned, taking an even deeper swig. Marco slung an arm around my shoulder before drinking from his bottle, both of us steadily making our way to the bottom of the glass.

"Hmm. Kieran, my boy, how's about we open that handy smart tv of yours and watch some Pornhub?"

"Just because you don't get laid, Marco, doesn't mean you can get off watching porn at my house" I quickly shoved him off my shoulder, watching as a chuckling DJ caught the dazed asswipe.

I heard the door swing open again and ran to it, grinning when I saw a familiar head of straw-colored hair pushing it closed. I roughly harrumphed, watching as he turned around guiltily.

"About time fuckface"

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