Boys Will Be Boys (discontinued)

Chapter Thirteen

<Kieran's POV>

The weather had just started to pick up, the month having already changed to June and the temperature finally reaching that sticky spring-summer degree I missed. It was humid out, so I cooped myself up into my room, busying myself with random google searches and Snapchat articles. DJ and Marco had gone down to the shore with their families, Roger's were on a visit to his future campus, and Lukas had disappeared. Not really, but kinda. I hadn't exactly tried to contact him, so I suppose I couldn't say he was ghosting me.

Maybe it was the other way around. I guess I was ghosting him.

"Happy Pride Month?" I mused to myself, quietly.

What the fuck is a Pride Month?

Snapchat was filled with colorful, rainbow-themed articles, some of which had scandalous titles, others which were far simpler. The articles sat next to the normal ones, strangely not looking out of place. I briefly wondered if all the guys had lied to me about their weekend plans, and had instead gone out to celebrate.

Maybe they'd simply replace me and Roger with Michael.

He was gay.

They were gay.

They could be gay together.

And, scratch what I'd said before, Roger could be their personal cheerleader.

They didn't need me or my confused ass impeding their quality 'Gay time'.

You're being fucking ridiculous.

I shook my head violently, flinging my phone onto my bed, eyeing it with distrust. I needed a break from all this gay shit. I was starting to let it get to my head. I was starting to think like some mopey chick. Slap a pair of tits on me and I'd be a right bitch. Instead of mulling over my friends decided to put some clothes on, having been flouncing around in only my boxers like some fa-. I cut off my thought abruptly, trying to practice what my shrink had told me and empty my mind. Focus.

There's literally nothing to focus on.

Damn it, focus, you absolute fucktard!

My mental conversation escalated and I found myself hunched over in my chair, hands tightly gripping my hair. I pulled on the strands, the sting distracting me so I could finally pull on a pair of pants.

How pathetic am I to need to focus to put on a pair of fucking pants?

I was starting to grow increasingly self-toxic, so I quickly turned back to the computer, searching desperately for a distraction. I clicked on an old tab, hidden by a shit ton of garbage searches for homework answers.

Pornhub

The orange logo nearly blinded me and I let out a sigh. However disturbing it was, porn was one thing I could focus on. Porn was going to save me. It was the one thing incorruptible by the gay-fever that had swept over my friends.

Unless...

"Is there gay porn?" I asked out loud, feeling incredibly stupid when I realized that there was a high probability there was. Of course there would be gay porn. There were gay people. They got horny didn't they?

They're people just liked everybody else.

A sickly sweet voice inside my head chimed in as my mouse wavered over the search bar. I bit my lip in frustration, unsure whether I was really stupid enough to test my theory.

Fuck it.

I typed it out quickly, the irrational fear of someone looking over my shoulder creeping up on me as I clicked 'search'. The page loaded for an unbelievably long time, and then suddenly it was all there.