West of Nothing

25. Here's Johnny

There was a momentary lull during which Mason could almost hear Shouter demanding, Who the fuck are you to barge in here and tell us what to do?

"Who the hell is this?" Skunkworks said, only a smidgen less rudely.

"We can get to introductions later," said Major Zeus. "For now, I suggest we do as this man suggests. He has reason to believe that prolonged atmosphere deprivation could cause irreversible harm to the X-Bot."

"Goddammit. Fine." Skunkworks reversed the action of the pump. In place of the sucking and popping, there was a steady hiss of air leaking back into the bell chamber.

Pressurization did not take long. Within thirty seconds, the PSI was back up to eight and climbing. When it was nearing twelve, the X-Bot unwound itself and slowly stretched out its legs. Its movements were jerky and uncoordinated as if it were a bit punch drunk.

The Asian man sagged in relief. "I thank you much for heeding my concern."

"As you can see, the X-Bot is fine," Skunkworks said. "Now, would you care to tell us what this is all about?"

"This is doctor Xiun Xu-Mein," Major Zeus said, pronouncing it shin-shu-main.

"Please. You call me Johnny. Like Johnny Carson. Very funny man."

"Johnny is something of an expert biologist," the major started.

"Something of a biologist," Skunkworks said. "Just what sort of biologist is that?"

The Asian avoided making direct eye contact as he spoke. "Am molecular biologist by training but most known for esteemed work in cellular archaeology. I invent bio-marker protocol for the telling apart of ancient microbe from non-biological processes like crystal formation. Let say you want to know if old rock contain cell fossil, my system tell you that. It now NASA gold standard in search for life on Mars."

"Well, hot damn," HotDamn said. "A cellular archaeologist. Now there's a job I've never heard of."

Skunkworks was not impressed. "And what do we need a cellular archaeologist for?"

"Is my belief that specimen you call X-Bot have biological component."

"You're saying it's alive?" Mason asked.

"That depend how one define life. If we say key property of life use of free energy to maintain homeostasis, then it fit definition to tee. Evidence suggest specimen meet energy quota through organic chemical reaction, what we in field call metabolism. Not say it alive in same way as mouse or snake. More like hybrid with mix of biological and mechanical functions."

"Like a cyborg spider?" Mason said.

Johnny nodded.

"That's a pretty bold claim," Skunkworks said. "You said you have evidence to back this up?"

Johnny produced a skinny, transparent vial from an oversized pocket of his lab coat.

"That's one of the air samples we took from the bell?" Corny said. "I thought the results were inconclusive."

"Not inconclusive," replied Johnny. "Subtle yes. Analysis take long time. Environment contain exogenous moisture and organic matter. Must take account of all source of volatile compounds and use logic of elimination. I send much email to major."

"So that's what those questions were about," Corny said. "I wondered what he wanted with those leaf measurements."

"After make adjustments for decomposition and bacteria, carbon dioxide level still elevated and rising."