West of Nothing

50. Simulation Theater

Half a dozen of the reinforced jars were now lined up like ducklings beside the larger bell. Several more had already been sent over to the lab.

"We're going to run out of alphabet soon," Doogie said. "Anyone know what comes after Oscar?"

"Papa then Quebec," answered Skunkworks. "The real question is what to do with them all. There's no point in putting more in the bell if they're just going to sit around and navel gaze."

"Don't we have some more experiments to run?" Mason asked.

"I'm all Netflixed out," HotDamn said. "What we really need is to observe them in a more natural and stimulating environment."

"Like maybe a place with real scenery and actual plants and animals and plenty of interesting things to explore?" Corny's voice had a sarcastic edge. "In other words, something like a simulation theater?"

"A what?"

"A simulation theater. Haven't you been listening to anything I've been saying the past two weeks?"

"Perhaps I missed that one in my attempt to block out your pissy attitude," HotDamn snapped back.

Corny's scalp flushed crimson. "You seem to have a very selective memory when it comes to other people's ideas."

"Ideas are cheap. Actionable plans are what matter—and I don't recall you having any."

"That's funny, because when I first suggested the idea, you were all gung-ho about it."

"Sure that was me? I think I would have remembered."

"Wait, I know that conversation," Mason broke in. "Just a sec. I've got it bookmarked." They both started to object, but he ignored them and pushed play.

"You can't measure intelligence in isolation," Corny was saying. "It's like giving the solution to a problem without knowing what it solves for. The number four could be the result of two plus two or ten minus six or the sides to a square. In itself, it tells you nothing. To understand the X-Bot you have to understand its umwelt.

"Oomvelt?" Mason asked, sounding just as clueless on playback.

"Its experienced reality along with all the limitations and affordances that go with it. Put an animal in a cage and the cage becomes its umwelt. A pigeon's brain rewires itself to believe the lever is what actually produces the seed. Release it into the wild and it will spend all its time looking for a lever even when there is food on the ground."

"Pigeons sure are dumb," Mason remarked.

"The point is, if we set up simple, artificial tests, we're going to get simple, artificial results. If we really want to know how this thing problem solves, we need to create a rich environment it can interact with, not a fucking glass cage. When I build my own micro-drones, a good chunk of the budget goes toward creating a simulation theater to test them in. A successful simulator contains everything they can be expected to encounter in the real world, along with some random stuff thrown in."

"Well, hot damn, let's go build ourselves a simulator then!" HotDamn enthused.

"There's a little problem with that," Skunkworks rained on the parade. "This simulation theater of yours would have to be sealed up tighter than Fort Knox. It would need it own environmental systems and be wired up for—"

Mason stopped the video.

"You were right," HotDamn admitted. "I've been a forgetful ass. Is that what you want to hear? I don't see how this helps us any though. I don't know when this recording was taken, but Skunkworks' point is just as valid now as it was then. We're out in the middle of a goddamn desert. You can't just wall off a garden, install some security cams, and call it a day. You would have to—"