Louder

Chapter 24

     Jason, Carson, Serena and I stood on the stage at Vandos. Carson had his arm around my shoulders as he pulled me close to him and I could feel Serena's eyes on us. I tried my best to keep my eyes averted, knowing she wouldn't be happy with Carson and I's new relationship.

      "So," Jason said, smiling at Serena. "Carson had this idea for us to have the same event where we discovered you. Next Sunday we're going to allow anyone who wants to sing to sing on this stage and showcase their talent. After we found a talent like you, we thought it would be a great idea to let more people have a chance of being something big."

      "That's amazing!" Serena exclaimed. "I can't wait!"

      "We want you to sing first though." Jason smiled. "We want to show the crowd what could be and the restaurant will be packed, so it'll be good publicity for you."

      Serena squealed and I smiled at her excitement. But after everything we'd been through, I didn't feel any joy at the thought of Serena gaining more fame. 

      "This is what started it all," Serena said as her eyes wandered around the restaurant momentarily. "I never thought singing on this stage would've made me famous. I am so, so thankful you gave me the opportunity to sing here."

      "You're welcome," Jason said. "Your voice is something special. It deserves to be heard and I'm glad you came forth with it. A talent like yours needs to be witnessed."

       I looked away at the mention of how Serena came forth with her voice. As I realized that this was supposed to me, that I was supposed to be in the place Serena was in, I found my heart sinking. I tried so hard to pretend I was okay with Serena singing, but I had grown too tired to care about her. I would never tell the world her secret, but I was done defending her.

      To my surprise, Carson kissed the top of my head. My eyes flew up to his and he smiled widely at me, his eyes expressing an affection that left my heart melting. Our relationship had started the moment we finished kissing in his car and ever since we'd been a couple. It was what I wanted and I was glad that for the first time in my life, I chose to be selfish.

       "Excuse us," Serena said, shooting us a look. "Get a room. Carson's dad is right there."

      "It's fine," Jason said, chuckling. "I like seeing my son so happy."

      Jason smiled at Carson and I grew relieved. I always wondered if Jason would judge us for getting together so soon after Serena was dumped, but he seemed happy with the turn of events. More happy than he was when Serena and Carson were together, in fact.

      "Nivenah, can I talk to you?" Serena asked.

      "Sure," I said, surprised. "What about?"

      "In private."

      Serena walked off suddenly and I glanced at Carson who was frowning. Leaving his embrace, I walked off stage and followed Serena outside. The sun was scorching and the wind was blowing leaves around, and I turned to face Serena as we stood in the parking lot of Vandos.

      "Since when were you and Carson an item?" Serena asked.

      "Since a few days ago," I said, looking away.

      A part of me felt guilty that I stole Carson from Serena. I knew she loved him, but I knew he never loved her. Carson had fallen for a lie when it came to Serena and he had fallen for me for who I was. Maybe that didn't justify anything, but it was the only thing that left me knowing that I hadn't ruin their relationship.

      "Why?" Serena asked. Her face dropped and my own heart sunk. "Why would you do that to me? We're best friends."

      "I really like Carson," I said. "I never felt this way about anyone."

      "I really liked Carson, too! I loved him and I thought he loved me, too."

      Serena was crumbling and I had to take a deep breath in to calm myself down. I hated hurting her, even after everything she'd done to me. But, I knew I was allowed to be selfish for once. Just once, I was allowed to do what makes me happy.

      "I'm really sorry Serena," I said. "I never meant to hurt you, but... it just happened."

      "How could Carson move on so fast?" Serena said, throwing her hand out to point at me. "How could he fall for you of all people. I don't understand."

      "What do  you mean me of all people?"

     My eyes narrowed at Serena and she stared at me, looking equally as mad as me. I knew things weren't going to end well. 

      "Let's be honest, Nivenah," Serena said, looking me up and down. "You're you, a quiet, boring, little miss do what's right all the time. I'm me, a beautiful, confident, amazing singer. It's an easy choice of who guys would rather date."

      "Well maybe it's because Carson fell for a lie!" I snapped, hating Serena for being so rude. I hated how whenever it came to Carson, she felt the need to put me down. "He never loved you. He fell for you because he thought you were the one with the voice, but he found out the truth and that's why he dumped you."

      Serena froze for a moment and my heart dropped. I threw my hand over my mouth, realizing I said too much.

      "Wait," Serena said, stunned. "Carson knows the truth? Since when?"

      "Yeah," I said, unable to meet Serena's eyes. "He's known for a few weeks now."

      "Why didn't you ever tell me?"

      I looked back at Serena and saw the pained look she wore. She was deflating, sulking with the truth of why everything happened. I hated myself for spilling the truth.

      "So that's why Carson dumped me," Serena said, picking herself back up. "That's why he's dating you. You should have told me this. I wouldn't have spent the last few weeks wondering what was wrong with me. Do you know what it's like to think there's something so wrong with you that the man you loved felt the need to randomly dump you one day? You could have saved me so much heartache."

      "I'm sorry," I said, stunned. I hadn't realized Serena would dwell over that, but it was naive of me to think she wouldn't. "I... I was scared to tell you. I didn't want to freak you out."

      "No, you didn't tell me because you wanted Carson for yourself." Serena glared at me. "How dare you keep such a big secret from me. Are you heartless?"

      "And now you know how your fans feel!"

      Serena looked as if I slapped her, but I was fuming. Every time we talked, I found myself growing more and more angry at the fact that Serena thought she could just attack me whenever she felt like it without any consequences. It drove me insane and finally, I was learning to stand up for myself.

      "How dare you tell me it's wrong to keep a secret when that's what you've been doing for months now!" I shouted. "You have all these fans who love you, but they love a lie. They love someone who's not even real, so don't you dare call me heartless for keeping a secret to protect you. Your secret doesn't help anyone but yourself, so don't you dare act like I'm the bad guy here."

      Serena looked horrified and I stepped back, surprised that I had lashed out at Serena like that. It wasn't like me, but I realized everyone had a boiling point. And once you reached that point, it would take a lot to cool down.

      "You need to top bringing up the secret," Serena said, fighting back tears. "Stop trying to bully me into telling everyone the truth. I never will."

      "Well then, I guess we're not friends anymore," I said, shrugging. "Until you stop lying, I don't want to be anywhere near someone as heartless as you."

      Whirling around, I stormed off and I didn't bother to hear the multiple screams Serena let out to try to get me to stay. I didn't even hesitate when she broke down sobbing because finally, I was done. I was finally done protecting Serena who I realized never cared about anyone but herself.