Vanitas x Reader: 「NEBULOCHAOTIC」

PROLOGUE: Time

PROLOGUE: Time — The indefinite continued progress of existence and events in the past, present, and future regarded as a whole.

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Time is such an abstract construct. It can move too quickly and yet all too slow at the same time. It's difficult to find a balance where time feels normal, and everything is in equilibrium.

[Y/N] has yet to find such a medium. As for many people, time moves at a chaotic rate, accelerations and admissions all occurring in the span of a second. Their disease took so many years to develop, long, painful crushing years, but after noticing the toll their lack of treatment was inflicting on their eyesight, time seemed to speed up to an uncontrollable rate. It felt like the first blind spot they noticed was so long ago.

Once [Y/N]'s vision had reached its peak, their glaucoma winning the battle and stealing their sight, time fell to a stagnant pace. This stillness over their time turned into the agonizing lull of the rest of their days. Every day was darkness. Not even a shadow or glimmer of light could catch their eye anymore. It left a permanent scar, not just on their eyes, but their spirit and soul.

Even now, the prospect is frightening. There was once a time so many years ago that they could open their eyes and see the big bright world, absorb the golden sun rays and curl their toes in the crisp green grass, head tilted up to face the blue sky dotted with white clouds. They could see the red blossoming on their friend's cheeks when they got embarrassed, and the dark purple bruises that would litter their skin from a day well spent with them. Those times are long gone.

And it's scary--a creature so denounced to change being thrown full force into an entirely new situation. But they learned how to deal with the fear, how to cope with the inevitable loss of their eyesight. Despite the hardships they faced, [Y/N] was not one for giving up. [Y/N] was still [Y/N].

They could feel angry. They could feel crossed. They could want to run away and never come home because of their parent's neglect in caring for their disease. But what good would hatred do in such a lovely world? [Y/N] has already lost an entire sense. Each one of the five is so very precious; they can't afford to lose another one out of grievous contempt for their family. There was already so much pain and suffering from their inability to see. Adding on to the emotional struggle by guilting their parents would do no good to a single soul.

But they knew what had to be done. After so many years of beseeching their parents to take them back to the hospital to fix their eyesight, to get consistent eye exams and possibly surgery to keep their vision, and having all of these dreams shattered, [Y/N] knew it was only right that on their 18th birthday they took the first step themselves. It may be too late to reverse the clock, but so much damage has been done; the least they could do for themselves was find ways to mentally heal.

This was the only thought running through their head as they approach a building they could no longer see. Though their imagination ran wild with visions of crosses and revealing windows displaying sickly patient's lives to the world in their head. They stood alongside their mother, their arms linked, who agreed to escort them to the hospital until they had someone else to rely on for directions.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Their mother asked wearily, "this could cost you so much money if they want to run tests or treatments--and you know we can't help you financially."

They could feel the judgemental glance being cast their way from the disapproving woman. [Y/N] took in a soft breath of air, slowly letting it out before turning their head in the voice's direction. Their mind was made up, decision final. They went through years of suffering in silence. Now, it was time they broke their silence.

"I've been waiting for this my whole life. I'm not backing down now."

Without another word, [Y/N] withdrew their arm from their mother's. They could hear the gentle gasp their mother let out, their heightened senses even taking notice of the way the wind shifted, their mother began reaching out to grab their wrist. But no such contact came. Instead, all that was left was the sound of [Y/N]'s footsteps as they walked against the concrete towards the entrance, no falter or hesitance in their stride. Not stopping once to show their weakness.

They'd never know that their mother turned on her heels and left.

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A/N: Hey guys!! Just to let you know, A/N's will not be common in this story. I feel like they don't add much at all unless it's at the very beginning or end of a fic.
In this case, I wanted to apologize for the length; this was simply a chapter to test the waters and introduce everyone to the Reader. The next chapter is definitely much more lengthy than this one!
Also, updates will be slow. I'm not setting myself on a schedule because scheduled work doesn't come from the heart. My passion is spur of the moment and comes when I'm truly driven to write. However, I will not be dropping this fic; even if I have to end it early, I'm zealous to conclude this fic in a way it deserves! But hopefully I will stay driven long enough to properly write out this fic without having to sloppily finish it. You fellow writers know what I mean, right?
Either way, I'm so excited to start this journey with you guys. I've already started doing so much research for this fic, as well as gotten some friends involved to edit for me. I can't wait to see how you guys react to this story!
Until next time! 💕