Loving You Until It Hurts

Chapter 21 : When the Brain Forgets, the Heart Will Remember

"Hi there." The 8 years old version of Gaeun greeted her casually. It was like the kid wasn't bewildered on what's happening. Gaeun had to take credit for her strange calmness and maturity. But, she questioned herself whether she was like this when she was kid.

"I'd prefer if you called me not in my real name. You can called me whatever you want." They both stared at each other's eyes. Gaeun sat silently and watched her, half-sitting on the window seat. Gaeun had many thoughts she wanted to ask to the little kid, but Gaeun doubt she can asnwered them. Afterall, she was simply a kid.

"Don't underestimate me, my pathetic future self. Now, tell me. Do you regret having Sehun in your life?" Gaeun couldn't response and react on her remark. Then again, confusion had caught ever since she saw that weird creature. The mini her could read her thoughts and her emotions as it is proven that she had sensed Gaeun's doubts. Gaeun even got scolded by a mere kid.

"What do you mean by regretting having Sehun in our life?" Gaeun asked. The kid chuckled, her little arms hugging her stomach. Gaeun sat there nervously as she didn't know what's funny on what she had said.

"Dear me. I apologize for my forgetfulness. You lost your memories because of saving that bastard. Then, let me show you the past you shouldn't forget ever in your life. When you completely see it, I'll ask you again." The room slowly dissolved into something Gaeun can't comprehend. The smile on the kid's face never faded as slowly and slowly, they were going to the depths of unknown.

It was dark again and she was falling with the kid. Gaeun's eyes never leave her eyes. Somehow, she felt at ease with her. Gaeun stretched her arm and she too. The kid held Gaeun's hand and went close to her. She touched Gaeun's cheeks and whispered.

"Remember, this darkness is a part of us. Don't be afraid of the it. When you open your eyes again, something will change. Its still your decision to accept this part of you or not. But there will be consequences. Be it insanity or death." Her lips touched Gaeun's like a lethal poison to put Gaeun into eternal slumber. Gaeun's eyelids slowly closed until she felt that water violent hushed against her cold skin.

"You will be resurrected to the old you."

~~~~~

(Gaeun's POV)

My eyes were still closed. I felt like I was floating from thin air as the light puffs of cold wind brushed through my warm skin.

"Hey, wake up." The sound of a gentle voice stirred up my being to be awoken. I clenched my fist nervously on what will I see if I opened my eyes. The hideous creature and the 8 year old version of me made me trembled from fear that I abhored. But if I don't open my eyes, I will not moving forward. I will stop into this deadend and leave myself in this broken state. Like what she had told me, I shouldn't forget my past.

I slowly opened my eyes and the colour blue had welcomed me. I was surprised by the view that I hadn't expected. I thought I will be in the darkness again and waited for something like the creature, come to me and tell me weird things. I guessed that the fear had blinded my senses and always expecting something horrid.

I was staring at the blue sky, with the lazy clouds travelling to their endless destination. I smelled the freshness of the green grass beneath me. I pulled a fistful of grass and let it flew with the winds. My tensed body had relaxed and my mind somewhat at ease. Thank God that I had at least of a short break in the middle of my devastating journey to find my true self.

Although I had to find out the truth about myself, I'm not sure whether I wanted to know it or not. For the moment before I collapsed in front of Jongin, I had thought to see Sehun and to talk to him about various things, like all of these - from my memories coming back until my confrontation to my mother, were never happened in the first place. I was already contented having Sehun by my side and leave the things the way they were, before I found out dramatically that Luhan's mother was actually my biological mother.Unknowingly, hot tears fell from my tired eyes. I gritted my tooth and cursed to myself for crying. I wiped the tears furiously and stared at the blue sky.