Everything Will Be Just Fine (Completed)

34. I Don't Follow Her Advice

"Um... could you repeat, slower ?" I say. "Because I don't think I heard you very well, so I deduced what you were saying and I'm not sure it's what you meant."

Patiently, he repeats himself. "You're my imprint."

"You're joking, right ?" I tell him, stepping away from him. "It's not funny, so drop the act."

He brushes his hair back with his hand and looks at me which troubles me. "I'm not joking." he explains.

"This is nonsense. We've met a month ago, well, not exactly, but we've talked friendly a month ago, so if I was your imprint, you would've told me earlier and..." I stop. "Why didn't you tell me earlier ?" I ask.

"Like I said before, Sam forced me not too. He was afraid that if I'm too near you, I might lose my control at some point and hurt you. He wanted me to train, to control my temper. But I can't stand being away from you, so it's why I'm telling you only today."

"You sound possessed. This is so... weird." I say and he nods.

"I know. But I promise if we can get to know each other better, it will be less awkward."

"I... I have to go." I tell him before running home.

*****

"Kate !" I scream, panting. I just ran to her house, in the rain.

My hair is a mess and my nose is all red from the cold and rain. I great her mother who is making dinner and climb the stairs two by two. I enter her room, lay on her bed and start crying.

"Alex ? What are... Get out, you !" Kate pesters and I raise my head slightly to see Embry leaving the room.

"He was here ? Where you two getting all lovey-dovey ?" I joke, still sobbing a bit.

"Yeah. He helped me with my physics homework : that's for my parents." she explains before seating on her bed next to me. "Now, tell me. What's going on ? Whose butt do I have to kick ?"

"No one's." I laugh. "It's just that everything is coming back and I... I can't..." I cry again, probably scaring her.

"Okay, it's important : I've never seen you cry before. Breath deeply and spill." she advices me.

"Paul imprinted on me." I admit, looking at her reaction under my eyelashes.

"That's great ! He's your protector now, right ?" she asks, patting my arm.

"No, it isn't great at all." I sob harder. "First, there's this weird thing Billy told me. Secondly, when Paul will learn everything that happened to me, with my family and the cancer, he won't look at me anymore, he will feel sorry for me and I won't be able to handle that, at all !" I say to her, not being careful for my choice of words.

"Concerning cancer, I'm sure he'll be super supportive ! Don't worry about that : he won't look at you as if you're broken. For your parents, I mean, you told me they divorced and all, he'll understand too." she states and I feel guilty.

I didn't tell her the truth and I feel bad. "About my parents, I have to tell you something." I breath deeply like she told me to before and begin. "In late July, we went to the beach. My dad was driving and suddenly, a truck... My older brother, Corry, protected William and I, but he died while doing so. My parents died too, because the truck impaled the car at the front. Will and I were asked to move here with Billy and Jacob." I tell her the whole story and wait for her pity.

"Whoa. You... your... they... Whoa." she says under her breath.

"Yeah. But don't say anything to anyone, promise ?" I sit up and push away the tears staying on my cheeks. I sniffle a bit and smile weakly. "You're the only one except Jacob and Billy who knows the truth."

"Of course, I won't say a thing ! Even to Embry !" she exclaims and hugs me tight. "I'm so sorry, Alexandra." she tells me and I only hear her pain, no pity.

We stay like that for a while before I pull away.

"Paul will understand if you tell him the whole thing." she says. "He doesn't seem like a mean guy to me. I also believe everything happens for a reason. If you weren't... involved in a car crash, you would have never come here, right ?" she asks me, while choosing her words carefully.

I nod and she continues. "So, you would have never met me or Paul. I'm sure your parents and older brother wouldn't want you to mourn over their death forever. It takes time, but in the future you will be able to be happy without feeling guilty. Go see Paul and tell him the truth."

*****

March...

I don't follow her advice and I don't see Paul for three weeks. Three weeks where I go to school, avoid the Cullen's, do homework, talk with William, go to the hospital and learn that I will be operated.

During those three weeks, I felt alone. I haven't talked to Billy or Jacob since, and I haven't talked to any of the other pack members.

I have this hole in my chest and it hurts so much, though I have no idea why. I feel sad, hurt and alone every single second of the day and I don't know why. Is it because I'm not with my imprint ? Or is it because of the tumor who is growing back ?

Yes, the tumor has been growing back. That is why I'm getting operated tomorrow. 

Vote/Comment/Follow ! :)

25/02/19 : #33 in cancer