i'll be the boy with the silver lining - jalex oneshots

[JUST KISS ALREADY]

jack's pov:

"have you ever liked someone before, but you're too scared to say it?" alex asked me. he looked nervous. why? everyone goes through that, right? i don't know why he's asking that, though. five minutes ago, we were talking about our music project. it's a bit off topic.

"all the time." i replied. i was hinting at how i felt about him, but i was ninety-nine percent sure that he wouldn't catch onto that. in some ways, i was glad. i was also the exact same amount certain that he didn't like me back.

"same." alex replied. that kind of deadpanned the conversation. what am i supposed to reply to that? again, i was a little happy about it though - i could accidentally slip out that i like him.

actually, him saying that meant he liked someone. who? most of me hoped that it was me that he was talking about, but the part of me with more sense knew that was a lie. alex was way out of my league. just look at him. his hair and eyes and pretty much everything about his appearance is perfect. his personality? perfect. 

before we got to high school, everyone had a crush on him. alex was always complain about it. tell me how he didn't want all of this attention. no one that had ever asked him out knew him, and he'd always have to let them down. but i'd never known alex to reciprocate feelings for anyone. in fact, i'm pretty sure he's never told me he liked anyone, let alone dated them. 

once we were all moved up into highschool, people still crushed on alex, but they decided to be a little bit more reserved about it. instead, me, rian, and zack would be asked questions like 'do you think alex would be interested in me?' by people we barely knew. and it had become the same response every goddamn time: 'sorry, alex hasn't mentioned being interested in anyone recently.' they usually go off in a huff after that, but that's not our fault.

but back to the point. alex likes someone. and i just want to know who. but i don't at the same time. i need to know who it is without sounding disappointed when i know that it's not me. i need to be happy for him when he tells me who it is - not be hurt, just because he doesn't have the same feelings about me as i do about him. i'll get over it.

"they're both idiots! oh my god! can they just kiss already?! i'm tired of hearing them both go on about each other. they're so god damn oblivious!" zack whisper-yelled to rian. wow, way to be secretive. rian whispered something back, but i couldn't quite catch that. then, rian stood up, and faced alex and i.

"this is an intervention. you both like each other. thank you and goodbye. now kiss." rian stated, picking up his bag, and leaving hand-in-hand with zack. well, that totally didn't make this awkward for me or alex at all.

alex put his head in his hands and laughed awkwardly. i just laughed slightly. it didn't make this any less awkward. this has got to be the first time there's been awkward silence between alex and i since we first met a few years ago. but i guess something needed to be said.

"so..." i tried to come up with something to say, but - as you can tell - that didn't work out too well. it was at this point i really wished that i could just say '???' like i would over text. but now i have to do it in person. great. i never really planned what i would say to alex, because i assumed that this 'crush' i had would pass after a couple of months. but it didn't.

"you know, if i hadn't said anything, we wouldn't be having an awkward moment." alex spoke up, head still down, and he was shaking his head. 

"that's true," i agreed. "but it's been said now, and here we are." alex sighed, but sat up again. we looked at each other for a few seconds before i spoke again. "so... was what zack and rian were saying true?" might as well get this over and done with. better to be sooner rather than later. alex sighed again, and said something that sounded like 'fuck it'.

"yes. yes it is. i do like you. and i don't know when i started liking you, and i don't know how i realised. i barely knew how i felt a month ago. rian just noticed that i'd stare at you too long, or zack would joke about how i looked at you in the same way that he looked at rian. and then i started thinking about the possibility of dating you. and i think something clicked, and all of a sudden i was feeling things. my stomach just felt strange when you would jokingly flirt with me. stuff like that. comments that i used to laugh about and brush off made me feel strange. but it was a good strange. i spoke to rian and zack about it one day, and they said that i probably had feelings. i didn't believe them at first - you're my best friend, it didn't sit right. so many things could go wrong, and i'd lose you. and that's why i was too scared to tell you." alex explained. throughout the whole time he was speaking, he didn't make eye contact with me. he looked down at his hand. he said most of it at a whisper, but i still heard every word. but i guess it's time i spilled my guts now.

"if it's any reassurance, i feel the same way. i've liked you for a while. three, possibly four, months. we've always been so close, and i'd never considered a relationship with you before. but i started picking up on your habits - like how you'd fiddle with your fingers when you're nervous - and i just found them cute, i guess. and then i just realised how perfect you are. and it isn't just the way you dress, or how fluffy your hair is. it's your personality. it's the way you find the stupidest things funny. it's the way you always stand up for the rest of us. it's the way you act when you've had too much coffee. and i'm totally aware of how cheesy this sounds, but i've just built up so much..." i stopped. love wasn't the right word. i don't love alex yet. it's way too soon for that. we're not even together. "appreciation for you. i started to notice tiny things about you - not just your dick--" i was cut off by alex laughing. "shut up, stop ruining the moment." i joked.

"you just did!" alex retorted.

"no i didn't!"

"you said my dick was small!"

"maybe, but you know i can't have a serious conversation."

"true. carry on."

"anyways, i started to notice the tiny things about you, and - as you said - it made me feel strange. and it was a good strange. it was just a feeling in my stomach that i couldn't shake everytime we hugged, or you'd fall asleep on my shoulder when we were watching movies. and rian falls asleep on me all the time, but it just made me so happy when you did. and by the way, you're pretty cute when you're asleep." i finished. i didn't really know what else to say.

"first of all, you watch me sleep?" alex said, his cheeks red. 

"only when you fall asleep when we're together and i wake up before you or something. i don't, like, crawl into your bedroom window at three in the morning and watch you sleep." i laughed.

"well that's some reassurance."

and after that, we fell silent again. but this time, it wasn't awkward. alex put his hand on top of mine on the table, and we stayed sitting like that for a few minutes. i turned my head to look at alex and smiled. he's adorable. and now i can say that and know that he won't mind.

"so..." alex started, and i looked up a little and paid full attention to him. not that it wasn't anyways, i was just focusing on his face. "wanna date?"

"definitely." i replied, and the biggest smile came across my face. i couldn't stop it. i moved closer to alex, and pulled him in for a hug. he rested his head on my shoulder. it was almost like i'd been waiting a whole lifetime for this.

~~~~~

a/n - the title's a bit misleading bc they didn't kiss but  o h  w e l l

85 days until i see all time low for the first time ahh