a reason to love

chapter 3

Lauren woke to a feeling she wasn't used to...her shorts were damp and it seemed like the sheets were as well. She took a peek at the other occupants in the bed and that's when it hit her: "Camz," she said softly, not wanting to wake the little girl who had cuddled both of them throughout the night and at this very moment had a tiny hand on each of them. "Camz" she tried a little louder. Camila woke with a jump and looked over at Lauren. "I think we have a potty training problem on our hands" she gestured for Camila to take a look at their sheets, a huge wet spot right underneath the sleeping girl.

Camila scrunched up her nose and laid her head back down on the pillow for a second. "I guess we should have saw that one coming. She's so little." Her lips formed a smile and she glanced over at her wife, who was trying to untangle herself from the girl without waking her.

"Would you mind to wake her and give her another bath while I take care of these sheets? It looks like we're going to need to go shopping today for some clothes and some pull-ups for night time," Lauren casually mentioned as she moved to start taking off the sheets.

"Laur, you know we can't just keep her, right?" Camila started off softly and kept an even tone, not wanting to push her wife away, but needing to convey her feelings on the situation. "I mean, she has a family somewhere and there are processes we have to go through for things like this. Just because she ended up at our doorstep doesn't mean she's ours." Camila glanced up at her wife, who was for once, looking back at her.

"I know, Camila. I just feel like she needs us right now and I want to protect her and take care of her. She needs us, but I think we need her too." Camila slid out of the bed and placed a reassuring hand on Lauren's shoulder. Lauren flinched at the physical touch that had been absent for the past 6 months. Camila quickly pulled her hand away, not wanting to cause her wife any discomfort.

"We will do whatever we can to make sure that we do everything right. I'm not saying we should try to keep her, but I will call the police department and we can let someone know that we have her and want to take care of her until a better option comes along. Okay?" Lauren nodded and reached out to touch Camila's arm. This was unexpected, so Camila flinched just as Lauren had a few moments before. She now understood that a moment ago it may not have been the fact that Lauren was uncomfortable with her touch causing her to flinch, but just that she didn't expect it. Camila let that thought take root in her belief system, slowly pushing away the refusal to believe that there was no hope for their marriage.

When Lauren had gotten as far as she could with the sheets without waking the little girl, Camila got on her knees and leaned over her sleeping form. She took one of her hands and placed it on her back, rubbing gently to start to wake her up. "Hey, sleeping beauty" Camila said in a sing-songy voice as the girl blinked and flashed her those pretty blue eyes. She reached out for Camila, who scooped her up from the bed and held her close despite the mess she had made of her clothing.

Lauren stood by, watching the scene play out. Lauren and Camila had been together almost their entire life and yet they had never had the conversation about whether or not they wanted children. Camila was a natural, that was clear. As she watched her wife with the little one Lauren felt her heart constrict in her chest. Camila was made to be a mother. She was glowing and for the first time in a while, Lauren noticed how absolutely breathtaking her wife looked. In no more than a t-shirt and some shorts that had been soaked through with urine, she was as beautiful as the day she had married her, maybe even more.

Flashback

Lauren helped Camila make her way into the limo that was waiting for them outside the reception venue. It had been a long day, on filled with the celebration of their love. Once they were both in, Camila took Lauren's hand in her own and brought it up to her lips for a quick kiss. "I can't believe that just happened. I've dreamed about today for years and years and you want to know something?" Lauren nodded her head, urging her to continue. "I only ever saw you at the other end of the aisle, Laur. You have literally made all of my dreams come true."

Lauren wrapped her arms around Camila and pulled her into her side, contentment flooding their bodies as they made their way to the next destination. If this is what life was going to be like from now on, she thought to herself, it wouldn't be a bad life at all. In fact, she would be the happiest person in the world as long as she had Camila by her side.

End Flashback

Lauren shook her head, trying to get rid of the thought. They weren't back to that place yet. She didn't trust Camila enough right now to let her back into her heart like that. For the first time in a long time, though, Lauren felt the tug of something urging her to tell her wife that she still thinks she is beautiful.

*****

Camila ran the bath water and gently slipped the wet t-shirt off the tiny girl before placing her in the tub. "You know, we would really like to know what your name is," Camila said, not really expecting the girl to answer back due the lack of words used in the history of knowing her. The girl looked straight into Camila's eyes and began to open her mouth.

"Brooklyn" she said in a raspy, small voice. She said it so casually, as if she had been talking to Camila her entire life. She waited for a response from the woman giving her a bath. Camila, once she recovered from the shock of hearing the little girl's voice for the first time, couldn't stop the smile from growing on her face.

"That's beautiful, just like you," she said as she took her finger and bopped the little one she was bathing on her nose. "So, Brooklyn, how old are you?" Brooklyn held up 3 fingers, looking at them closely, as if she had memorized not the number of them, but the way they looked when she held them up. She pushed the other fingers down as they threatened to come back up.

Camila was overjoyed that they had made some progress and as she finished up and got Brooklyn a towel, she decided she would try just one more question. "Where is your family, baby girl?" She noticed her tiny face scrunch up in confusion and Camila thought maybe she should use different words. "Do you have a mommy or a daddy?" Brooklyn looked thoughtful and then gazed into Camila's eyes, shaking her head no. "Alright then..listen to me, ok? Miss Lauren and I are going to take good care of you. We're going to buy you some pretty dresses to wear and make sure you get plenty of hugs and kisses, is that alright with you?" Brooklyn nodded and wrapped her tiny arms around Camila's neck to give her a hug. Camila melted. There was nothing in the world like the feeling of being needed. She hadn't felt that feeling in such a long time.