a reason to love

chapter 4

A good way to find out if you are ready to have a kid is to have one show up on your doorstep unannounced. After a few phone calls and a trip to the police station, Lauren and Camila were busy cleaning up and childproofing their house, awaiting the arrival of their case manager. They had spent all afternoon toting Brooklyn around, buying all of the necessities they could think of that she might need. Never having been parents or really even babysitters before meant that they each had made a few trips back to the store once they got home and had realized something they had forgotten. They were exhausted but as they looked at Brooklyn, with her adorable new clothes and sleeping in Lauren's arms, they knew it was all worth it.

It had taken her a while to warm up to Lauren. While Camila had a natural connection with her right away, Lauren had to try a little harder. Once Brooklyn let herself fall in love with the green-eyed woman, though, she fell hard. She had hardly let Camila hold her all day, only wanting to be close to Lauren.

As soon as they had gotten settled in and had taken a break from all of the reorganizing, Lauren and Brooklyn sat on the couch and Camila sank down into the chair across the room. Camila let her eyes wander over to the two girls. Lauren was holding on tight to Brooklyn, who was straddling her lap and snuggled up as close as she could get with her face buried in her neck. She let herself take a deep breath as she took in how lovely it was to see her wife enjoying physical contact again. It had been so long since they had touched each other and Camila knew that was hard on Lauren. When they were in the beginning stages of their relationship they could never keep their hands off of each other. It had still been that way until Lauren found out about the kiss.

Flashback

"Laur, please, don't cry. It's not what you think." Camila moved towards her wife, leaving the girl who had just been caught kissing her alone on the other side of the room.

"Yeah, Camila, what does it mean? Your lips were on her lips. There's not a whole lot that can be misinterpreted there." Lauren's eyes were overflowing with tears as she shouted angrily at Camila. She ran her fingers through her long dark hair and sank down to the ground.

"Lauren, you have to listen to me. I didn't know she was going to kiss me. If I would have known, I would have never invited her over. You are important to me, Laur. You are my world. Please understand that."

"It would have been easier to understand, Camila, if I hadn't just walked in on my wife making out with another woman." Camila sat down beside Lauren, sobbing along with her. She tried to reach for Lauren's hand, but she pulled it away. "I'm gonna be sick," Lauren mumbled, rushing to move from the floor to the nearest trashcan. Camila watched as Lauren emptied her stomach, knowing that she was the cause of making her wife so unhappy that she had gotten physically ill.

Lauren locked herself in the bathroom for a long time and Camila just waited patiently on the other side of the door, saying anything she could think of to try and soothe her wife's heartache. When Lauren finally opened the door, she had puffy red eyes that glared at Camila. "Camila, I love you, but you have taken my heart and instead of protecting it like you always said you would, you shattered it. It's going to take some time to piece it back together."

End Flashback

"I'm going to take her upstairs to finish her nap. Maybe she'll sleep while we meet with the case manager," Lauren said. The words were directed at Camila, but her eyes were far away from her wife.

"Yeah, that would be great. I wish I could sleep as soundly as she can. I'm super jealous," Camila playfully responded. Lauren carefully stood up and started walking towards the staircase. As she walked past her wife, a hand tugging on her shirt stopped her from going any further. "I just wanted to give her a kiss, Laur." Camila stood up and took in the sight of the sleeping girl. "She's perfect," she added, looking at Lauren before placing a gentle kiss on the girl's forehead.