A/N: after this there's one or two more chapters. The recommendation this time is just that you check out JordanAlly11's account. There are a few really cool stories on there.
The day passes slowly without her. It only takes five minutes to decide what I want to wear. I walk the dog and read some of a book but it's hard to get into it. I decide to go downstairs and see if Darien's around. I don't find him but I do run into my dad. "Avi."
"Hi dad." He leans against the doorway of the bathroom and looks at me. "What happened with Kirstie at dinner last night?" Oh. It makes sense that he'd be curious as to why we were so desperate to escape. "Uh we had a little argument before dinner that we didn't quite manage to sort out before we started eating."
"Are things ok now?" I shrug "sort of. We're going to dinner with Esther and Darien tonight so hopefully that'll help things to go back to normal."
He believes it and leaves to go and see my mom but it makes me think. I don't want things to go back to normal. I don't want to go back to being the way we were. Not because I don't love having her as a friend but because every moment of holding her in my arms and stroking her hair and acting like a couple has made me wish that we were. She's everything I could have asked for and I didn't even realise. I need to find someway to tell her. She's staying tonight since it would be a bit late to drive back after dinner. That gives me today and as much of tomorrow as we decide to stay for to be honest with her. If I tell her too soon then there's a huge risk things will be awkward. If I tell her at all there's a huge risk things will be awkward. Basically whatever happens things are going to change and it may not be for the better. It's like Esther said, I have to decide whether it's worth it.
"They really need to hurry up or we're going to miss our reservation" Darien and I have been waiting for about twenty minutes and Kirstie and Esther still haven't shown any sign that they're ready to leave. "Women have far more getting ready to do than men." My mom's voice is gently chastising and my dad smiles as he wraps his arm around her shoulder. "No need to be impatient Darien, we're ready." Esther walks down the stairs and I watch as her boyfriend's eyes light up and he kisses her hand causing her to roll her eyes. I'm distracted by watching them so I don't see Kirstie until she's almost at the bottom of the stairs. She's wearing a simple light-blue dress and her hair is loose around her shoulders in perfect waves. She gracefully descends the final few steps and then she's standing directly in front of me.
"You. I. Wow." She blushes and ducks her head and I reach out and stroke her cheek, turning her face up towards me. "Kirstie, you look completely beautiful."
We're both quiet on the walk there. Darien and Esther walk along ahead of us, chattering and laughing easily. I'm still slightly in awe of how beautiful Kirstie looks. I keep sneaking glances at her. She's playing with the ends of her hair and then occasionally looking up at the sky. I need to say something to make this less awkward. "That dress is really nice." She looks relieved to have an opportunity to break the silence "Thank you. Esther helped me to pick it."
"The colour really suits you." She smiles warmly at me. "You look really good too. I always liked it when you did your hair like that."
"Thank you. Listen Kirst, could we just try and enjoy tonight? Darien and Esther know what's going on so we don't have to pretend anything. Let's just have a nice dinner." She stops and I halt immediately. "Just a nice dinner. Between friends. Like when we get food with everyone." She's looking straight into my eyes and it feels like a challenge that I'm not sure how to respond to. I could tell her that I really wish that it was something more than that, that I would love for it to be the date that my family think it is, but after last night I'm inclined to tread carefully. "Yes."
"So, what are you going to tell everyone when you get back to LA?" Thanks Esther. We've barely started eating and she's already interrogating us. Kirstie twirls her fork in her pasta distractedly. "Um well Scott already knows everything but I told him not to tell anyone."
"You told Scott?" I don't mean for it to sound like an accusation and when she starts to look guilty I instantly feel bad. "Sorry I just needed to talk to someone."
"No, it's fine honestly. He's our friend, it's ok. It's probably better if we don't give everyone else the full story though." She nods and smiles at me. It's not any of the smiles I'm used to seeing on her face. Not the cute smirk or the wide grin. It's slightly subdued. Maybe even wistful. Part of my brain runs away with that idea. The thought that she might want what I want is intoxicating. The idea of us going back to LA and going on dates, kissing her and the unbelievably alluring idea of sharing a bed for a reason other than sleeping.
It's not exactly easy to get through dinner with thoughts like that occupying my mind. The conversation flows easily and I can feel Kirstie relax beside me. We both finish eating before Darien and Esther, our excessive appetites getting the better of us once again. She's obviously calm and any tension that was there previously has seemingly disappeared. Whilst I'm watching Esther and Darien being sickeningly cute and feeding each other my hand drops to my side and my fingers brush Kirstie's. She flinches and I start to move my hand away until I feel her fingers slip through mine. Her hand is warm and just like the other times, it fits in mine perfectly. I don't want to move. I'm worried that if I do then the significance of the moment will get to us. I just want to do what I suggested to Kirstie earlier. Enjoy it.
