My life story

What am I feeling?

     (Heads up this is mainly about Child. There will be another. Hold your tits) 

     Child, Baby Bunny, a random ass kid, Raspberry. Those are all the people I've dated. Child, we dated for a while. To be honest, I feel sad when I think about him. I just think about all the negative things about him. I forgot all about the good things. I forget the good in people. I always do. If I hear something bad about that person. I instantly make assumptions. I hate myself every time I do.  I'm trying to be better. I didn't really talk to "Child" today.  I'm sitting in science. It's flextime or free time. I just wanna go home. I wanna close my blinds and turn off all the lights and just think and think until I can't fell anything. I never had a boyfriend until Child came around. At first, I didn't know what to think... I still don't know. Last night I didn't fell asleep until 4 am and woke up at 6 am. Anyways, I just thought all those memories with Child and I just cried. I didn't know what I was feeling. I felt sad, alone, and scared. I lied saying to myself he didn't care he never did, but he actually did. I didn't know how to work relationships. Never been in one since last year. I didn't know what I was doing. I was just making it look like I know what I was doing. I just wanna be locked up in a room and never come out.  I can go little overboard on being "Happy" and yes, I act fake. I don't want people knowing that I'm not happy. 'cause someone will get suspicious. I don't want that. I look like I'm smiling, but inside I am dying. That's it for now in a while I'll upload again.