Guardian Angel (Phan)

Introduction

Trigger Warning

I breathed a raspy sigh of relief as I quickly ripped my blade through a patch of my unmarked skin. Yet another cut to add to the fresh wounds and scars that were scattered across my wrists and thighs. Another stitch to add to the tapestry of my sin.

I watched as my blood gathered into droplets and eventually spilled over, dripping down my wrist and into the palm of my hand, little streams of crimson. A single blade released the emotion that weighed itself upon my heart, a fluent motion brought calm to the chaos of my mind. But it wasn't enough. It was never enough. No amount of self-harm could ever completely free me from the shackles that held me to this disgusting world.

I picked up my blade once more, a friend that comforted me more than any person ever could, and continued to slice at my bare skin. It was just what I deserved. Just what I needed. A monster addicted to mutilating itself, that's all I was and all I'd ever be. Each drop of blood that escaped my body was a part of me being freed.

Each wound I inflicted upon myself I dedicated to someone. To those who aided in turning me into the monster I had become.

My mother.

My father.

The beasts that raised me.

My teachers.

My classmates.

My "friends."

I named them one by one, some earning more than a few cuts. My blade and hands were soon sticky with blood, but I continued to injure myself as I thought, over and over again,

Phil.

Phil.

Phil.