Love Comes in Three

Chapter Seventy-Two "Of Sailor and Sea"

            I sat there on the bench like a statue with the warm afternoon air blowing over me, still holding Percival's letters in my lap.  Jasper was just laying there in the tall grass, staring at me precariously.  I was as unsure about my mood as he was.  My mind and my heart were in utter turmoil.  "So many letters," I breathed, taking another look at the bundle.  "What should I do?"  Jasper barked at me, but his answer was no clearer than my own thoughts. 

            I felt an overwhelming urge to cry, but tears would not come.  Instead I closed my eyes and took several deep breaths, holding the letters against my chest.  I tried to will my worries out to the wind, perhaps they would be carried to the sea.  Perhaps I would get some sort of an answer if I waited long enough.  I tried to steady my nerves and listen.

            "Margaret?" the familiar voice was distant but it was enough to lift my spirits.  I bit my lip and stayed still, hoping to hear it again, to hear memories of Isaac call to me.  "Magpie, didn't you hear me?"  I choked back a whimper when I realized that it was Freddie and he was practically to me already.  I scrambled to get my handkerchief to wipe my eyes before he saw the threat of tears, but the sudden movement caused the bundle of letters to fall.  "Magpie, what's this?" he said reaching for the packet, "Where's Percival?  I thought he came out to find you." 

            I kept my face away from him, "He's left . . . Percival left a short while ago."

            "Margaret," Freddie's voice became soft and soothing as he gingerly placed his hand on my shoulder, "What's the matter?  Did Percival upset you?"  I couldn't help the ragged sounds of my breath as they mixed with the sniffling.  The tears finally fell while I kept fidgeting with my handkerchief and when I noticed the tiny embroidered violets, I let the sobbing overtake me.  "There, there," he said moving closer so he could wrap his arms around me, "Let it out.  Let it all out and then we'll talk . . . it can't be all that bad, can it?"

            I turned into him and cried freely, keeping my head on his shoulder.  Freddie was always so compassionate, granted this would be just one of the handful of times when my uncontrollable tears were justified, but he never judged.  If I were crying, there was a reason, and he would do what he could to help, even if it was something childish like a lost doll's slipper.  "I'm so confused," I stammered.

            "About?" Freddie cradled me against him and rocked a bit.

            I looked up at him with bewilderment, "Don't play, Freddie!  You know, you have to know!"

            "I might know some things . . . " he held up the letters and looked back towards me, "but not everything.  Do you want to tell me what's made you so upset?"

            "I think Percival has asked for my hand . . . " I managed sitting up and wiping my nose.

            "I imagine he did," Freddie nodded, "he said as much to me."

            "What?" I gasped jumping to my feet, "Why didn't you tell him?  Why didn't you stop him?"

            "Margaret, what was I supposed to tell him?  I know how he feels . . . "

            "Tell him that I'm in love with Isaac!" I shouted back at him.

            "That would be better coming from you, wouldn't it?"

            Why must he always make sense?  I took a deep breath, "I told him . . . but it didn't change anything.  I broke with him once, Freddie, and that was almost unbearable . . . how can I do it again?"