In An Instant

Chapter 1

Everything is sugar-coated. 

It doesn't matter if you are really a terrible person inside and it doesn't make a difference if all of your so-called "friends" hate you any way, pitiful human beings like myself will do whatever it takes to paint themselves in a different light. Maybe it's because we long for attention or maybe it's because we need to convince ourselves that everything is better than it seems -- life doesn't suck, we always do the right thing... whatever. 

The point is, I'm no different than the rest of them. I won't act like I'm wise beyond my years and I definitely won't pretend that I've had an epiphany. Because the truth? The honest, un-sugar-coated truth? I just don't know if I have or not and if I ever will. What I do know is that everything I am about to divulge did change me -- for better or for worse -- and that I will not make the story something that it clearly isn't. Sweetening the ugly parts of life never helped any one. It certainly didn't help me. 

So  here it is: chapter one of my high school experience in all it's glory. And like every story, this one starts at the beginning. 

I thought that Grade nine graduation was the highlight of the year. Not because the ceremony was all that great — all it consisted of was a diploma that didn't matter for college or university, a painfully unrehearsed speech, and so, so much snow (I know what you're thinking: Snow! In June! Right? That's Rosemond for you.) — it was what it meant. A new school, a new reputation — I could start over.

        For Sidney, Ally, and I, well... we were damn ready to leave behind Rosemond Prep. a long time ago. No more playground for the little kids, and no more old friends that you left behind long ago staring at you with big, sad puppy eyes as you passed them. It all was enough to make a girl feel guilty from time to time.

         "Northland High School won't know what hit 'em," Ally whispered to Sidney and I after dragging us away from the camera's flashing in the crowd and cooing parents, smiling at their children with proud looks as if they were "the next big thing". Leave it to the Ms. Goodwin to convince all of our parents that we would all grow up to start the next Apple or Microsoft.

        I shared a meaningful look with Sidney. Whenever Ally attempted to talk like a cool girl, it never worked. That was, unless she was talking to guys, in which it worked better than it should, especially since it was all an act.

         Sidney raised her eyebrows and I could tell that she was trying not to roll her large blue eyes, a trick that she had perfected over the years. "Oh, shut up Ally. You know it won't make you look any cooler."

        "Well..." She averted her eyes and threw her hands up in a quirky gesture while clicking her cheek at the same time. "Ugh, I don't know.... Why not?"

        I laughed. Although we mostly agreed that Ally was the weirdest of all of us, I think that we looked up to her. Or rather, down to her. I vaguely remembered her protesting to me this morning when we were getting ready that she wasn't that short. "Leah, if I wore two inch heels, you'd be the same height as I am." The conversation ended when she wore three inch wedges and I, myself, sported flats that still elevated me above my petite friend.

        "Are you going to Bridget's party?" I asked out of curiosity.

        She gave me a look that said "you should know this" and I did but I figured that I'd grill her about it anyway. "I have to. She'll question me if I don't."

        Sidney jumped in, one step ahead of me. "You have to tell her sooner or later."

        "I have! She just doesn't listen." Then, more nervously. "To be honest, I think she knows."