Down Come Seven (ReWrite 2018)

W A Y

"Sixty years?" I screeched, stunned. "You're ancient!"

While I couldn't see it, I could feel Fussy Jerk glaring at me.

"Says the one who's gone senile!"

That's right. If he has been here sixty years...and I was here before him...that means...

"Nooooo!" I wailed, covering up my ears. "I'm too young to be old!"

"...And you're sure that you haven't just been living in stupid people time?" Smiley Face crossed his arms, not ready to believe that the man in front of us was old enough to have ridden the dinosaurs.

"No. I have not been living in stupid people time." Funnily enough, Fussy Jerk didn't even need to ask what stupid people time was. "What I have been living in, is a Cave, for the past Sixty years!"

Why does he keep saying that like it is my fa...oh...

"...I don't see how that is even possible. " Smiley Face responded carefully.

"This place exists outside of time." Fussy Jerk pulled out a silver pocket watch, flicking it open to reveal it was still ticking. "Nothing ages in here...and contestants can be pulled from any time period."

"Oh."

Fussy Jerk closed his watch with a frustrated click.

"Didn't you figure any of this out for yourselves?"

Smiley Face pointed at me.

"She is very distracting."

"Ooooh la la."

"Shut up."

I leaned over, still hiding behind Smiley Face's shoulder, to peer sceptically as Fussy Jerk.

"Sixty years...shouldn't you be like... completely insane by now?" I accused.

The neurotic contestant crossed his arms.

"Look who's calling the kettle black."

"...is that your fun way of confessing to being a serial killer?"

With a sigh, Fussy Jerk pointed to the roof.

"Take a good look at this cave."

We looked around at the ice cave in confusion.

"...it's...nice?" Smiley Face offered carefully.

Fussy Jerk scoffed.

"It's better than nice. It's perfect.

Now that he mentioned it, the walls of the large cave were a little bit too smooth and...handcrafted.

I stared.

"No way."

Fussy Jerk reached into his breast pocket and pulled out a nail file.

"This cave used to be a hole in an iceberg barely big enough for me to stand in."

We stared at him, looking from his serious mask/face to the file in his hand. Still in mint condition.

When we didn't speak Fussy Jerk added.

"It's a good thing I had this emergency file on me, otherwise I would have gone insane long ago."

Smiley Face shook his head.

"...Maybe we're all mad here." He murmured

Fussy Jerk just sighed, putting the file away.

"So I suppose you two will be looking to get out of here?"