Swarming thoughts

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Kokichi groaned as he woke up, his hair and blankets a mess. Thank god it was Saturday, he was at his worst right now. He didn't want to get up from his bed since he really didn't see a point in getting up and being a productive human being. "Uuugggghhhh.. I feel like shit." He did that on most mornings, groaning and saying he feels like shit and how much he didn't want to go to school. It was almost apart of his morning routine.

He laid in bed for a couple of minutes before checking his phone for any new notifications. Surprisingly, there were some. Most were from Keebo.

"Good morning." " I want to help you out with your disease, but to do that, I will need to require the name of your crush." Keebo was always much more formal when he was texting.
"Just much more time to think about grammar and what to say, I guess." Kokichi thought out loud. He was the type to use his actual name instead of a nickname for his username.
"Please don't brush this off with a lie." Kokichi could've easily lied, but, he really didn't want to suffer and have a slow and painful death. Despite how much he hated himself, he couldn't help but be afraid of death. In addition to that, lying right now wasn't the smartest option.

"i wouldnt lol" he typed in. Damn, Keebo woke up an hour earlier than him and messaged him. Is that how a real, functioning and productive human feels like? Can't imagine.

"Knowing you, you most likely would." Keebo texted back in a matter of a couple of seconds. "Anyway, can you please tell me who they are?" Kokichi got uncomfortable, quick. He was anxious, even though he didn't need to be. Maybe the fact that he liked someone of the same gender was making him anxious, but Keebo seemed to be accepting.

"you wont tell anyone right?"

"It's a promise."

"promise me you wont or else ill strangle you"

"I won't."

Kokichi took a minute to reply. He was scared of what Keebo night think, what he might do and such. "Its shuichi."

Those three dots meaning that Keebo was replying popped up. It was there for several seconds, that made him very anxious. "What are you going to say?! Hurry up goddammit!" Kokichi yelled at his screen.

"Oh, I have his number. He's with Kaede, correct?" That was only two sentences. Why did that take him so long to respond?

"why did that take you so long to write" "that was literally only 2 sentences"
"I was just looking through my contacts to see if I had his number. It turns out I have Kaede's as well."
"o" That was all Kokichi could write. He wasn't very fond of Kaede, obviously. She was way too optimistic and all about friendship. Plus, she was the one stopping him from being with his beloved.

"anyway what did you have in mind"
"I was thinking we could all hang out at the mall maybe? Or at a Cafe." Thinking about it, it wasn't a bad idea. Hopefully, Shuichi and Kaede won't get all lovey-dovey.
"what if i have to throw up"
"Throw up?"
"yeah" "flowers and blood all that shit"
"You can throw up because of this Hanahaki Disease?!"
"yeah thats like the 3rd stage" "or 4th i forgot lol"
Keebo haven't seemed to know this, or he just hasn't heard of the stages of Hanahaki. "I've never heard of this."
"just go look it up"
"Affirmative."

Kokichi plopped his phone back down and switched it off. When did he start to have a crush on Shuichi? A year ago, probably. Love felt so good and amazing. He didn't know how to deal with it. This boy created a rarity of his genuine smile. Something that wasn't a lie or a forced one. He just wanted to lay in Shuichi's arms and stay there with him, forever. A place where it was peaceful and calm, somewhere where no one could intervene in their bonding. Where they could just laugh away the fear and problems.

Except, Love turned painful. Seeing him with someone else made him start to choke. His disease only came in slowly. After a few weeks of seeing Shuichi with someone else, he started to cough up flower petals with some blood. Then everything got worse from there.

Would Keebo's plan even work? What if Shuichi was straight? Actually, no, he knew for a fact that he wasn't. It was just something about him that radiated 'bi-disaster'. Though Shuichi and Kaede had a stable and healthy relationship, so there's a pretty low chance of Shuichi liking Kokichi. Unless Kaede somehow fell for another person.

These questions and ways how everything bad can happen swarmed around Kokichi's head like bees protecting their hive.

"I hate my life," Kokichi said with a small chuckle. "Why do you do this to me, god?" Kokichi didn't expect an answer, he was just being edgy.

Love is painful. [Oumasai]Where stories live. Discover now